I killed myself。

Taxi driver是一部下载了很久，却一直由于某些原因直到今晚才看的片子。

此时几乎每个电视台都在报道雅安地震，遇难者上升到157位。
我对我妈说，爱莫能助。我妈点头同意。我们都是平凡屌丝，连同情心都不如政客、公知、演员多。
    
于是我掐掉电视，打开电脑看1976《出租车司机》。
满脑子回想的都是拉维斯用染血的拇指和食指模拟扣动扳机对准自己的太阳穴：
砰——
砰——
砰——
我以为他死了，结果不光活着，还成了英雄。
我知道这显得很荒诞，
但生活本来就很黄暴、荒诞。
    
于是我想起David Bowie那首《The man who sold the world》。

We passed upon the stair,
we spoke of was and when
Although I wasn't there,
he said I was his friend
Which came as some surprise
I spoke into his eyes
I thought you died alone,
a long long time ago
Oh no, not me
We never lost control
You're face to face
With The Man Who Sold The World
I laughed and shook his hand,
and made my way back home
I searched for form and land,
for years and years I roamed
I gazed a gazley stare
at all the millions here
We must have died along,
a long long time ago
Who knows? not me
I never lost control
You're face to face
With The Man Who Sold The World
Who knows? not me
We never lost control
You're face to face
With the Man who Sold the World

我实在太平凡，
面对丑恶与灾难，永远只能说：爱莫能助。
毕竟我不如拉维斯，我连英雄主义情结都没有。