You is kind, you is smart, you is important---the Help
"You is kind, you is smart, you is important" 这是黑人女仆Aibileen 对她照看的白人小女孩每天都说的话。这话听得我窝心又痛心。黑人女人和黑人男人真是不同的物种。这里的黑人男人会把家和孩子象垃圾一样扔掉自己逃走，他们的女人却不知哪来的自信，不但自己顽强的坚守，还能把这份自信传给自己的死对头白人的孩子。这份自信也许是caregiver能给孩子的最好最好的礼物了。我感动，是因为心里明白, how true these words are；痛心，是因为相比她们，自己做的实在差的太远，真的很惭愧。
“Every morning, until you dead in the ground, you gone have to make this decision. You gone have to ask yourself, "Am I gone believe what them fools say about me today“”Your mom didn't pick her life. It picked her. But you, you gonna do something big with yours." 这是另外一个黑人女仆Constantine看着13岁的白人女孩Skeeter自己躲在树下正为又一个男孩说她丑而难过时说的话。这句话也stuck with me，挥之不去。这是怎样的简单朴素却常常让人忽视的大智慧。怎么这么巧都来自这些底层的黑人？让我想起另外一部黑人电影the pursuit of happyness。 Will Smith对自己的儿子说你别打篮球了，做些有用的东西吧。。后来他又向儿子认错，忏悔，说"Don't ever let someone tell you, you can't do something. Not even me.” 这些话都是那么的powerful, 都让我反思。这些智慧大人也许会慢慢摸索明白，可一张白纸的小孩子，大人说什么就信什么的幼童，不是应该一早就有这份自信吗？我真的得时时提醒自己。
看着黑人被看作colored，被隔离时过的日子,我会忍不住对比我们中国人。Aibileen做女仆一小时挣95cents，Skeeter 在报社工作，一天挣7美元。黑人不能用白人的厕所，可是主人给她们单独做一个厕所，用白人的话是"separate but equal"。黑人不能和主人坐一个桌子吃饭，可是她们也吃同样的饭。她们有自己房子，里面的厨房用具一点不少。她们有自己的bus,有自己的 church。小孩子还可以上大学。不算太差嘛。女仆是雇佣性质，双方都可以终止合约。就这样她们还是觉得你欠她的，还很有脾气。一个黑人被无理开除了，晚上他们就暴乱。再惹毛了她们，还会让你吃屎。还会against the law，把他们的遭遇写下来传播出去。很不好对付呢。确实，他们有Rosa Parks,拒绝给白人让座。还出了个Martin Luther King, 一个让全美少数族裔都获益的伟人。从1960年到现在，托黑人的福，美国人在civil rights方面还是很有进步的。我们呢？有进步吗？是否每个人都有自己的尊严骄傲和勇气？是否每个人都会独立地思考？是否曾经想过无论多么卑微，都能去争取，去改变？我们的底层阶级呢？是否还那么认命那么循规蹈矩那么随大流？是我们的制度问题？还是因为我们的教育问题？我们从小就被教育要乖，要听话，要懂事，从小就没有"You is kind, you is smart, you is important" 的教育？路，好像还很长呢。
Constantine教出了反叛自信的Skeeter，自己却冤死了。 还片着尿布的小女孩Mae Mobley会对Aibileen说，"You are my real mama。“ Aibileen 说儿子曾说家里会出一个作家，没想到会是我。。很多情节让人感动。。电影里的人物虽有些脸谱化，有些hollywood式，可都还丰满挺有代表性的。故事讲得很流畅，画面很美，美国南方真漂亮。很喜欢这样的笑中有泪，uplifting的故事。只是不知如果作者是个黑人，又会有什么不同。
我想我会和孩子们再看一遍。希望我的孩子，他们的棱角，他们的脾气和guts，还没有让我给磨灭完了。
PS.
下面是书中Aibileen给Mae Mobley 讲过的一个故事，看看这是怎样的幼童教育：
“Once upon a time they was two girls," I say. "one girl had black skin, one girl had white."
Mae Mobley look up at me. She listening.
"Little colored girl say to little white girl, 'How come your skin be so pale?' White girl say, 'I don't know. How come your skin be so black? What you think that mean?'
"But neither one a them little girls knew. So little white girl say, 'Well, let's see. You got hair, I got hair.'"I gives Mae Mobley a little tousle on her head.
"Little colored girl say 'I got a nose, you got a nose.'"I gives her little snout a tweak. She got to reach up and do the same to me.
"Little white girl say, 'I got toes, you got toes.' And I do the little thing with her toes, but she can't get to mine cause I got my white work shoes on.
"'So we's the same. Just a different color', say that little colored girl. The little white girl she agreed and they was friends. The End."
Baby Girl just look at me. Law, that was a sorry story if I ever heard one. Wasn't even no plot to it. But Mae Mobley, she smile and say, "Tell it again.”
“Every morning, until you dead in the ground, you gone have to make this decision. You gone have to ask yourself, "Am I gone believe what them fools say about me today“”Your mom didn't pick her life. It picked her. But you, you gonna do something big with yours." 这是另外一个黑人女仆Constantine看着13岁的白人女孩Skeeter自己躲在树下正为又一个男孩说她丑而难过时说的话。这句话也stuck with me，挥之不去。这是怎样的简单朴素却常常让人忽视的大智慧。怎么这么巧都来自这些底层的黑人？让我想起另外一部黑人电影the pursuit of happyness。 Will Smith对自己的儿子说你别打篮球了，做些有用的东西吧。。后来他又向儿子认错，忏悔，说"Don't ever let someone tell you, you can't do something. Not even me.” 这些话都是那么的powerful, 都让我反思。这些智慧大人也许会慢慢摸索明白，可一张白纸的小孩子，大人说什么就信什么的幼童，不是应该一早就有这份自信吗？我真的得时时提醒自己。
看着黑人被看作colored，被隔离时过的日子,我会忍不住对比我们中国人。Aibileen做女仆一小时挣95cents，Skeeter 在报社工作，一天挣7美元。黑人不能用白人的厕所，可是主人给她们单独做一个厕所，用白人的话是"separate but equal"。黑人不能和主人坐一个桌子吃饭，可是她们也吃同样的饭。她们有自己房子，里面的厨房用具一点不少。她们有自己的bus,有自己的 church。小孩子还可以上大学。不算太差嘛。女仆是雇佣性质，双方都可以终止合约。就这样她们还是觉得你欠她的，还很有脾气。一个黑人被无理开除了，晚上他们就暴乱。再惹毛了她们，还会让你吃屎。还会against the law，把他们的遭遇写下来传播出去。很不好对付呢。确实，他们有Rosa Parks,拒绝给白人让座。还出了个Martin Luther King, 一个让全美少数族裔都获益的伟人。从1960年到现在，托黑人的福，美国人在civil rights方面还是很有进步的。我们呢？有进步吗？是否每个人都有自己的尊严骄傲和勇气？是否每个人都会独立地思考？是否曾经想过无论多么卑微，都能去争取，去改变？我们的底层阶级呢？是否还那么认命那么循规蹈矩那么随大流？是我们的制度问题？还是因为我们的教育问题？我们从小就被教育要乖，要听话，要懂事，从小就没有"You is kind, you is smart, you is important" 的教育？路，好像还很长呢。
Constantine教出了反叛自信的Skeeter，自己却冤死了。 还片着尿布的小女孩Mae Mobley会对Aibileen说，"You are my real mama。“ Aibileen 说儿子曾说家里会出一个作家，没想到会是我。。很多情节让人感动。。电影里的人物虽有些脸谱化，有些hollywood式，可都还丰满挺有代表性的。故事讲得很流畅，画面很美，美国南方真漂亮。很喜欢这样的笑中有泪，uplifting的故事。只是不知如果作者是个黑人，又会有什么不同。
我想我会和孩子们再看一遍。希望我的孩子，他们的棱角，他们的脾气和guts，还没有让我给磨灭完了。
PS.
下面是书中Aibileen给Mae Mobley 讲过的一个故事，看看这是怎样的幼童教育：
“Once upon a time they was two girls," I say. "one girl had black skin, one girl had white."
Mae Mobley look up at me. She listening.
"Little colored girl say to little white girl, 'How come your skin be so pale?' White girl say, 'I don't know. How come your skin be so black? What you think that mean?'
"But neither one a them little girls knew. So little white girl say, 'Well, let's see. You got hair, I got hair.'"I gives Mae Mobley a little tousle on her head.
"Little colored girl say 'I got a nose, you got a nose.'"I gives her little snout a tweak. She got to reach up and do the same to me.
"Little white girl say, 'I got toes, you got toes.' And I do the little thing with her toes, but she can't get to mine cause I got my white work shoes on.
"'So we's the same. Just a different color', say that little colored girl. The little white girl she agreed and they was friends. The End."
Baby Girl just look at me. Law, that was a sorry story if I ever heard one. Wasn't even no plot to it. But Mae Mobley, she smile and say, "Tell it again.”
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