夜

He spent so many days just sitting with me, trying to get me to study. I wasn’t interested in the least. I was so wrapped up in my petty problems. His persistence nearly drove me mad. I began to hate him for it. And never once did he talk about himself. Just me, me, me. And I never understood. How foolish and cocky we are in our youth. It seems like nothing will ever end. But you talked to me only about yourself. That was new for me. I was so pleased. Nothing in the world felt sweeter, maybe because I loved you. That’s why his adoration wore on me, whereas you were flattered by it. The reason I feel like dying is I don’t love you anymore. That’s why I feel so miserable. I wish I was already old, so I’d have already dedicated my whole life to you. I wish I didn’t exist anymore, because I can’t love you anymore. I never gave you anything. I was oblivious to everything. Even now I go on wasting my life like a fool, taking without giving, or giving too little. Perhaps I don’t have much to give. If that’s what you mean, you’re right. I haven’t give you anything. It’s strange to realize only now that what we give to others comes back to us. 我不再爱你了，你也不爱我了。当你对之前写过的情话都陌生了，爱真的结束了。