1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris的眼泪能治癌，可惜的是他从来不哭。
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris从来不睡觉。他等待着。
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris现在正在起诉NBC，声称“法律”和“秩序”只不过是他左右腿的商标而已。
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris的主要出口产品是痛苦。
5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
如果你能看到Chuck Norris，那Chuck Norris也能看到你。如果你不能看到Chuck Norris，那你离死不远了。
（译者注：在Chuck Norris的电视剧中，结尾曲有句歌词大意是“那些做坏事的人小心了，Chuck Norris正看着你！”）
6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris从一数到了无穷。两次
7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris从来不去“狩猎”，因为“狩猎”这个词意味着有可能失败。Chuck Norris直接去“杀”。
8. Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
Chuck Norris从来不洗衣服。他直接把它们撕开。
（译者注：撕开衣服是猛男打架的前兆。 ）
9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
Chuck Norris有1/8的Cherokee血统。这和他的祖先无关——这个家伙吃掉了一个他妈的印地安人。
（译者注：Cherokee是印第安人一支，由于对美国移民实行坚决的抵抗政策，被灭族了。切诺基吉普就是以他们命名的 ）
10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
精装版吉尼斯世界纪录大全的最后一页上特别注明，所有的吉尼斯世界纪录其实都是由Chuck Norris保持的，这本书上记载的只不过是那些最接近他的人而已。
11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris的胡子后面其实没有下巴，那里只有另外一个拳头。
（译者注：Chuck Norris的胡子被视为他的“猛男”特征之一。）
12. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris有一次用Roundhouse踢人的时候太猛了，以至于他的脚超过光速，时光旅行回到过去，然后杀掉了正在太平洋上空飞行的Amelia Earhart。
（译者注：1. roundhouse踢是Chuck Norris的绝招，下同。 2 .Amelia Earhart是20世纪30年代环球飞行时死亡的女性。 ）
13. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
“麦圈”现象其实是Chuck Norris想要表达“你们这些麦子他妈的给我倒呀！”的意思而已。
（译者注：麦圈，灵异现象爱好者眼中的“世界之迷”之一。有人说麦圈是他们的恶作剧，但是这个说法并不被爱好者接受。）
14. Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
Chuck Norris10英尺高，2吨重，吐火，能吃锤子，被霰弹枪击中而不倒。
15. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
长城的建立其实是为了阻挡Chuck Norris。它悲惨地失败了。
16. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds ‘till." After you ask, "Two seconds ’til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
如果你问Chuck Norris现在几点了，他会回答“两秒，直到”。当你问“两秒直到什么？”的时候，他一个roundhouse踢在你脸上。
17. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris驾驶着盖满了骷髅头的冰激凌汽车上。
（译者注：冰激凌汽车会放好听的小孩子音乐，到处开，卖冰激凌，车上一般涂着卡通形象。）
18. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris把他的灵魂卖给了恶魔，以换取他那刚毅的形象，和无以比拟的肌肉能力。在交易结束之后不久，Chuck一个roundhouse踢在恶魔脸上，然后拿回了他的灵魂。那个恶魔却不晓得为什么很感激，发不起来火，并且承认他早该想到会是这样。现在他们两个每个月的第二个周三都在一起打扑克。
19. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
世界上其实没有进化论。只有一张“Chuck Norris允许活下来的生物列表”
20. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris某日花一小时时间一次吃掉了三个72盎司的牛排。他在（这一小时的）一开始的45分钟之内都在和女服务员搞。
21. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris是世界上唯一的在网球比赛里打赢了一堵墙的男人。
22. Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Chuck Norris从不用搅拌器制造黄油。他roundhouse踢在牛身上，黄油就出来了。
23. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris交税的时候，他把空表贴上他的照片送去，趴下，准备攻击。从此之后Chuck Norris就不用交税了。
24. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.
最快速度到达一个男人的心的方法是用Chuck Norris的拳头。
（译者注：美国谚语：最快速度攻陷一个男人的心的方法是好厨艺。）
25. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
残疾人专用泊车位不代表着这个位置是留给残疾人的，它其实是一个警告，说这个位置是留给Chuck Norris的，如果你泊在那，你就等着被打残吧。
26. Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
Chuck Norris将在2009年得到州的地位，他的州花是木兰花。
27. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
广岛从来就没被什么原子弹炸过。Chuck Norris跳下飞机，然后一拳轰在地上。
28. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That’s no glitch."
Chuck Norris一开始是会在“街霸2”中出现的，但是后来被Beata测试者移除了，因为无论拍什么键都只能让这个家伙使出“roundhouse踢”。当被问到这个“故障”的时候，Chuck Norris说，“没有什么故障。”
（译者注：Chuck Norris被讽刺为完美主义者。“That’s no glitch”准确应当翻译为“那不是故障”。但是这里很显然是作者的双关。）
29. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
《拯救大兵瑞恩》的开场场景是根据Chuck Norris二年级玩躲避球游戏的情景改编的。
30. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris曾经用手指头射下过一架德国战斗机。他喊声“Bang！”，那飞机就下来了。
31. Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earths atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
Chuck Norris曾经跟NASA打赌，说能够不用太空服重入大气层。1999年7月19日，赤身的Chuck Norris重入了大气层，呼啸着经过了14个州的上空并达到了3000度的高温。羞愧的NASA发言人声称那其实是一颗流星，并欠着他一瓶啤酒不给。
（译者注：这里也在讽刺NASA爱说谎和吝啬。）
32. Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Chuck Norris有两种速度，走或杀。
（译者注：谚语：我们有两种速度，走或跑。）
33. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks arent the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
有个人有次跟Chuck Norris讲，roundhouse踢不是杀人的最好方法。这个事件被历史学家记载为“史上最严重错误”。
34. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
和公认的不同，美国其实不是一个民主国家，美国是“Chuck制”国家。
35. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
忍者神龟是从真实故事改编的：Chuck Norris有一次吞下了一只海龟，然后当他把它拉出来的时候，海龟变成了六英尺长，并且学会了空手道。
36. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
不是Chuck Norris的XX象马那么长长地吊着，是马的XX长长地象Chuck Norris那样吊着。
37. Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
38. Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
Chuck Norris能在47秒内喝下一整加仑的牛奶
（译者注：有一个“你可能不知道的XX个事实”中有一条是，人不可能在一小时内喝下一加仑牛奶，原因是胃容积不够。 ）
39. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
和一般婴孩不同，Chuck Norris决定用拳头把他从他妈妈的子宫里打出来。
40. If you say Chuck Norris’ name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
如果你在电影“木兰花”里说出Chuck Norris的名字，那里面的人会以他之名用roundhouse踢你。（更糟糕的是）接下来你会被Chuck Norris本人用真的roundhouse踢到。
（译者注：见26）
41. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
时间不等人，除非那人是Chuck Norris。
42. Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris发现了一种叫做相对论的新理论，阐述了很多平行宇宙，在其他宇宙里面Chuck Norris比现在这个还要凶恶。当这个理论被爱因斯坦发现并公之于众的时候，Chuck Norris一个roundhouse踢在他脸上。我们知道，今日的爱因斯坦就是史蒂芬霍金。
（译者注：史蒂芬霍金，著名物理学家，被称为“今日的爱因斯坦”，严重残疾，不能说话，外表如同弱智。可以自查图片。）
43. The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
《文明四》里面没有“Chuck Norris军队单位”，因为只要一个这种单位就能够把世界上所有国家在一个回合内统统打败
（我注：《文明》系列是一款策略PC游戏）
44. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
在一个普通大小的起居室里面，Chuck Norris能够用来杀掉你的器械有1242个，包括房间本身。
45. Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
女人们从来不可能XXChuck Norris的X。他只让她们XX他那土豆袋大小的东西。
（我注：我觉得原译者对于后半句的理解可能有错误，我理解这句话应该是说女人不可能含住Chuck Norris的蛋蛋，因为他是用马铃薯袋把它们（睾丸）装起来的。）
46. Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
冥王星其实是一群英军士兵。他们在美国独立战争里被Chuck Norris用roundhouse踢在脸上，然后飞进了太空。
47. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
当Chuck Norris去献血的时候，他拒绝使用针管。他要了一把手枪和一个桶。
48. There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.
没有什么大规模杀伤性武器，只有Chuck Norris。
49. Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Chuck Norris曾经和兰斯阿姆斯特朗比谁的睾丸多。Chuck Norris以多出5个胜出。
（译者注：Lance Armstrong（兰斯•阿姆斯特朗），环法自行车赛连续六届冠军得主，在这之前患有睾丸癌。）
50. Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck’s gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
Chuck Norris是第四个给耶酥礼物的智者——他给了耶酥胡子，而耶酥直到死都留着那胡子。另外三个智者看到耶酥的样子愤怒了，于是就合伙起来，不把Chuck Norris写到圣经里。这三个人后来都因为神秘的roundhouse踢状而死。
51. Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
Chuck Norris每年褪两次皮。
52. When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
当Chuck Norris打1-900电话的时候，没人收他的费。当他在那里褒电话粥的时候，钱就不断地掉出来。
（译者注：900起头的电话是收费电话，类似于有偿声讯台。）
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Chuck Norris(1940年3月10日-)，空手道世界冠军，美国电影演员，动作片演员，因1972年拍摄电影《猛龙过江》在古罗马竞技场与李小龙搏击声名大噪，且被誉为世界电影功夫片不朽经典镜头。2005年因在肥皂剧中夸张的演出成为风靡一时的网络现象，网络上出现无数版本的“诺里斯事实”，于是他成了全球恶搞的代表。不过恶搞归恶搞，但查克·诺里斯动作英雄的形象才是人们记住他的关键。
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感谢科普
chuck norris在米国跟春哥差不多拳头能站人臂上能走马 胸口碎大石菊花开瓶盖，超越上帝一般的存在
后来chuck norris自己也开始接受这个身份了，还拍了个wow广告，超恶搞
http://www.chucknorr
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信春哥 得永生
就...突然敌人都挂了坦克也炸飞了...原来是哥出场了！哥一个人顶一个队
这不被斯普瑞维尔掐脖子那个卡勒西莫么？
谢科普！
人家明星什么的都是这冠军那运动员什么的 看看本国的一人 无地自容ing
那谁还剩一发子弹的时候 还真以为连环枪完爆坦克了~~ 他一出场真是爆笑！
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他还在魔兽世界里客串了一把！
敖~~~~~~~~~~喜欢他的范儿，花痴ing~~~~
帅气的72岁老人！
当年和李小龙的对决才是经典啊
出场音乐碉堡了
听到黄金三镖客的音乐我就燃了
德州巡警
与李小龙合演过影片并切磋学习技击的功夫高手里还能在银幕显身手的资格最老的一位，肃然起敬！！
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
原来之前恶搞春哥的笑话都来自于他。。。。
nbbbbb
Chuck Norris doesn't use a gun to shot some one,he just looked at that man,and say"biu".then the man was dead.
查克诺里斯从来不用枪去杀人，他只要看着那个人说biu，那个人就死了。
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为啥配乐都是黄金大镖客的？我以为老克林特伊斯特伍德都来了呢。
去看看德州巡警就知道了 很牛的人
此人的出场音乐 是猛龙过江么
我感觉出场音乐搞笑的
出场音乐《黄金三镖客》Il Buono il Brutto il Cattivo (Titoli)
地址：http://www.xiami.com
ls真有爱
牛逼
因为黄金三镖客是我很爱的一部电影呀
回一楼，因为背景音乐特逗，而且长得好像猩猩
只有他我不认识
我还好惊讶戏份这样多
这人是哪个
当年在罗马和李小龙对决的 空手道啊 牛逼得很啊 我艹啊 太牛逼了
真牛逼
在魔兽世界里客串了谁？？
这照片是相当地帅气！
Chuck Norris，现在都翻译成诺里斯，其实翻译成罗礼士认识他的人就更多了。四次入选“黑带群英殿”，七届世界空手道冠军，李小龙挚友。他的竞争对手是美式自由搏击之父乔刘易斯。
神人嘛
2012-09-16 13:22:12 哈尔的移动城堡
在魔兽世界里客串了谁？？
————————————————————
只是人们开玩笑说萨鲁法尔大王该由他来演
感谢科普
谢科普。刚刚看的时候还在想这人与黄金三镖客有什么联系，就是想不起来
出场的时候非常搞笑。
小时候还看过此君以前演的几部动作片，录像带啊，真是逝去的旧时光……
最喜欢这个，每看必笑
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, it breaks. Even a mirror knows not to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
哈哈哈哈哈哈ls那个好好笑
感谢科普，我开始还以为是拍三镖客的老演员
70后看录像带的应该都知道他
没认出来呀，最喜欢李小龙的动作片了，敢死队越来越有看头了。期待第三部
怪不得那么多人和一辆坦克就这么完蛋了.....原来有这个典故啊！
拳头能站人臂上能走马 胸口碎大石菊花开瓶盖，超越上帝一般的存在
太猛了吧，一个人干倒一片，这是开外挂啊！
人民币玩家哪个弄的过
查克诺里斯从不带手表，因为他决定现在是几点。。。据说查克诺里斯的眼泪可以治癌症，可惜他从不会哭。
查克诺里斯因为“诺里斯真相”而在美国成为了和春哥一样的网络恶搞对象，在本片里，也刻意安排了诺里斯的霸气出场，而且他自己还讲了一个“诺里斯真相”，
史泰龙：我听说你死了，被大毒蛇咬死了。诺里斯：是啊，经过了几天的痛苦挣扎.........那条蛇死了
这个人在李龙小的《猛龙过江》里和李小龙演对手戏的家伙，空手道冠军啊啊啊啊啊！！！本片里隐藏的传奇人物！！！
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72了啊，真厉害。
看上去好像丁丁历险器里的阿道克船长
原来还有这一说
1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris的眼泪能治癌，可惜的是他从来不哭。
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris从来不睡觉。他等待着。
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris现在正在起诉NBC，声称“法律”和“秩序”只不过是他左右腿的商标而已。
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris的主要出口产品是痛苦。
5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
如果你能看到Chuck Norris，那Chuck Norris也能看到你。如果你不能看到Chuck Norris，那你离死不远了。
（译者注：在Chuck Norris的电视剧中，结尾曲有句歌词大意是“那些做坏事的人小心了，Chuck Norris正看着你！”）
6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris从一数到了无穷。两次
7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris从来不去“狩猎”，因为“狩猎”这个词意味着有可能失败。Chuck Norris直接去“杀”。
8. Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
Chuck Norris从来不洗衣服。他直接把它们撕开。
（译者注：撕开衣服是猛男打架的前兆。 ）
9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
Chuck Norris有1/8的Cherokee血统。这和他的祖先无关——这个家伙吃掉了一个他妈的印地安人。
（译者注：Cherokee是印第安人一支，由于对美国移民实行坚决的抵抗政策，被灭族了。切诺基吉普就是以他们命名的 ）
10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
精装版吉尼斯世界纪录大全的最后一页上特别注明，所有的吉尼斯世界纪录其实都是由Chuck Norris保持的，这本书上记载的只不过是那些最接近他的人而已。
11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris的胡子后面其实没有下巴，那里只有另外一个拳头。
（译者注：Chuck Norris的胡子被视为他的“猛男”特征之一。）
12. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris有一次用Roundhouse踢人的时候太猛了，以至于他的脚超过光速，时光旅行回到过去，然后杀掉了正在太平洋上空飞行的Amelia Earhart。
（译者注：1. roundhouse踢是Chuck Norris的绝招，下同。 2 .Amelia Earhart是20世纪30年代环球飞行时死亡的女性。 ）
13. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
“麦圈”现象其实是Chuck Norris想要表达“你们这些麦子他妈的给我倒呀！”的意思而已。
（译者注：麦圈，灵异现象爱好者眼中的“世界之迷”之一。有人说麦圈是他们的恶作剧，但是这个说法并不被爱好者接受。）
14. Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
Chuck Norris10英尺高，2吨重，吐火，能吃锤子，被霰弹枪击中而不倒。
15. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
长城的建立其实是为了阻挡Chuck Norris。它悲惨地失败了。
16. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds ‘till." After you ask, "Two seconds ’til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
如果你问Chuck Norris现在几点了，他会回答“两秒，直到”。当你问“两秒直到什么？”的时候，他一个roundhouse踢在你脸上。
17. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris驾驶着盖满了骷髅头的冰激凌汽车上。
（译者注：冰激凌汽车会放好听的小孩子音乐，到处开，卖冰激凌，车上一般涂着卡通形象。）
18. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris把他的灵魂卖给了恶魔，以换取他那刚毅的形象，和无以比拟的肌肉能力。在交易结束之后不久，Chuck一个roundhouse踢在恶魔脸上，然后拿回了他的灵魂。那个恶魔却不晓得为什么很感激，发不起来火，并且承认他早该想到会是这样。现在他们两个每个月的第二个周三都在一起打扑克。
19. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
世界上其实没有进化论。只有一张“Chuck Norris允许活下来的生物列表”
20. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris某日花一小时时间一次吃掉了三个72盎司的牛排。他在（这一小时的）一开始的45分钟之内都在和女服务员搞。
21. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris是世界上唯一的在网球比赛里打赢了一堵墙的男人。
22. Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Chuck Norris从不用搅拌器制造黄油。他roundhouse踢在牛身上，黄油就出来了。
23. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris交税的时候，他把空表贴上他的照片送去，趴下，准备攻击。从此之后Chuck Norris就不用交税了。
24. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.
最快速度到达一个男人的心的方法是用Chuck Norris的拳头。
（译者注：美国谚语：最快速度攻陷一个男人的心的方法是好厨艺。）
25. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
残疾人专用泊车位不代表着这个位置是留给残疾人的，它其实是一个警告，说这个位置是留给Chuck Norris的，如果你泊在那，你就等着被打残吧。
26. Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
Chuck Norris将在2009年得到州的地位，他的州花是木兰花。
27. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
广岛从来就没被什么原子弹炸过。Chuck Norris跳下飞机，然后一拳轰在地上。
28. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That’s no glitch."
Chuck Norris一开始是会在“街霸2”中出现的，但是后来被Beata测试者移除了，因为无论拍什么键都只能让这个家伙使出“roundhouse踢”。当被问到这个“故障”的时候，Chuck Norris说，“没有什么故障。”
（译者注：Chuck Norris被讽刺为完美主义者。“That’s no glitch”准确应当翻译为“那不是故障”。但是这里很显然是作者的双关。）
29. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
《拯救大兵瑞恩》的开场场景是根据Chuck Norris二年级玩躲避球游戏的情景改编的。
30. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris曾经用手指头射下过一架德国战斗机。他喊声“Bang！”，那飞机就下来了。
31. Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earths atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
Chuck Norris曾经跟NASA打赌，说能够不用太空服重入大气层。1999年7月19日，赤身的Chuck Norris重入了大气层，呼啸着经过了14个州的上空并达到了3000度的高温。羞愧的NASA发言人声称那其实是一颗流星，并欠着他一瓶啤酒不给。
（译者注：这里也在讽刺NASA爱说谎和吝啬。）
32. Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Chuck Norris有两种速度，走或杀。
（译者注：谚语：我们有两种速度，走或跑。）
33. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks arent the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
有个人有次跟Chuck Norris讲，roundhouse踢不是杀人的最好方法。这个事件被历史学家记载为“史上最严重错误”。
34. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
和公认的不同，美国其实不是一个民主国家，美国是“Chuck制”国家。
35. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
忍者神龟是从真实故事改编的：Chuck Norris有一次吞下了一只海龟，然后当他把它拉出来的时候，海龟变成了六英尺长，并且学会了空手道。
36. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
不是Chuck Norris的XX象马那么长长地吊着，是马的XX长长地象Chuck Norris那样吊着。
37. Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris是唯一的验证海森堡测不准原理的人：他会在哪里roundhouse踢你的脸，和他踢你脸的速度有多快不可能被同时准确测得。
38. Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
Chuck Norris能在47秒内喝下一整加仑的牛奶
（译者注：有一个“你可能不知道的XX个事实”中有一条是，人不可能在一小时内喝下一加仑牛奶，原因是胃容积不够。 ）
39. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
和一般婴孩不同，Chuck Norris决定用拳头把他从他妈妈的子宫里打出来。
40. If you say Chuck Norris’ name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
如果你在电影“木兰花”里说出Chuck Norris的名字，那里面的人会以他之名用roundhouse踢你。（更糟糕的是）接下来你会被Chuck Norris本人用真的roundhouse踢到。
（译者注：见26）
41. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
时间不等人，除非那人是Chuck Norris。
42. Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris发现了一种叫做相对论的新理论，阐述了很多平行宇宙，在其他宇宙里面Chuck Norris比现在这个还要凶恶。当这个理论被爱因斯坦发现并公之于众的时候，Chuck Norris一个roundhouse踢在他脸上。我们知道，今日的爱因斯坦就是史蒂芬霍金。
（译者注：史蒂芬霍金，著名物理学家，被称为“今日的爱因斯坦”，严重残疾，不能说话，外表如同弱智。可以自查图片。）
43. The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
《文明四》里面没有“Chuck Norris军队单位”，因为只要一个这种单位就能够把世界上所有国家在一个回合内统统打败
（我注：《文明》系列是一款策略PC游戏）
44. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
在一个普通大小的起居室里面，Chuck Norris能够用来杀掉你的器械有1242个，包括房间本身。
45. Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
女人们从来不可能XXChuck Norris的X。他只让她们XX他那土豆袋大小的东西。
（我注：我觉得原译者对于后半句的理解可能有错误，我理解这句话应该是说女人不可能含住Chuck Norris的蛋蛋，因为他是用马铃薯袋把它们（睾丸）装起来的。）
46. Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
冥王星其实是一群英军士兵。他们在美国独立战争里被Chuck Norris用roundhouse踢在脸上，然后飞进了太空。
47. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
当Chuck Norris去献血的时候，他拒绝使用针管。他要了一把手枪和一个桶。
48. There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.
没有什么大规模杀伤性武器，只有Chuck Norris。
49. Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Chuck Norris曾经和兰斯阿姆斯特朗比谁的睾丸多。Chuck Norris以多出5个胜出。
（译者注：Lance Armstrong（兰斯•阿姆斯特朗），环法自行车赛连续六届冠军得主，在这之前患有睾丸癌。）
50. Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck’s gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
Chuck Norris是第四个给耶酥礼物的智者——他给了耶酥胡子，而耶酥直到死都留着那胡子。另外三个智者看到耶酥的样子愤怒了，于是就合伙起来，不把Chuck Norris写到圣经里。这三个人后来都因为神秘的roundhouse踢状而死。
51. Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
Chuck Norris每年褪两次皮。
52. When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
当Chuck Norris打1-900电话的时候，没人收他的费。当他在那里褒电话粥的时候，钱就不断地掉出来。
（译者注：900起头的电话是收费电话，类似于有偿声讯台。）
这位也是老牌动作明星了，看过他主演的突击贝鲁特
录像带时期《越战先锋三部曲》又名〈越南归来〉，小时候亲切地管他叫“大胡子”，哈哈，童年回忆
这片子他的出场很奇特
没有原因 大概就是：我来了 我打了 我赢了 我走了
巨星就是如此牛逼
怪不得看着面熟，原来是罗礼士。
赞二楼！
荒野大镖客
罗礼士想不到成了搞笑明星
完全看不出是72岁的老爷子，感觉跟40年轻的猛龙过江时候的年纪比都没怎么老。。
这不是阿道克船长吗
盖茨
《越战先锋》三部曲 《突袭贝鲁特》《突袭哥伦比亚》《大侵袭》《独行侠野狼》这几部连续看完，你会发现跟他一比史泰龙，施瓦辛格，显得温柔了许多，这老哥是把火箭筒当手枪使用的主
实力仅次于李小龙的人
查克诺里斯，猛龙过江里和李小龙对打的那位
好像猎狗啊
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查克诺里斯
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