然而并不会有John这样的对象……
看完剧后跑去ao3看了篇后续文，写得真好啊，看得我难过……
想到POI里绝境中的Reese被Finch捡起来，给了他活下去的意义，甚至给了他一个家和家人，差不多的情形。
生命中能遇到贵人，还是幸运的。更多的人遇不到，就烂在了泥潭里。
你倒在地上，破破烂烂，自己也觉得自己不配被挽救，不值得被拉起来，却有一个人固执地蹲在你边上，向你伸出手，说，I can take you, I can take it.
Martha was right about one thing- actually, Martha was right about a lot of things, but what mattered in the moment was that what he and Adile had was wonderful and terrible and fucked. She didn’t know who he was; half the time he didn’t know who he was, but he did know that he was hardly ever the man she expected him to be anymore, and sooner or later it would break both their hearts if it didn’t get one of them killed first. His life- John Bloom’s life- hadn’t felt properly like his since he got back, but he couldn’t just let it wither away. He hadn’t wanted to, not since he met Martha. Not since she looked at him and saw something that made her think he deserved better than to be consigned to the scrap heap with all the other broken dolls.
So present, so aware, so perceptive. Because he had forgotten what it felt like not to have to be. Not to read a person in a split second, because it was actually okay to misunderstand a situation or misinterpret a signal, it was actually not the end of the world. Only for him it was. For him it might always be.
He had known exactly what was going to happen- how the police would use him until he had nothing left, until he hardly knew how to be a person anymore, and then leave him to rot. And a part of him saw everything that way, might see everything that way for a long time. He couldn’t look at himself as someone who was worth helping out, worth waiting for, worth standing beside.
He was still that way, after everything. He still expected to be the dirty little secret, kept close when it suited but easily discarded in the name of pride or reputation or the bottom fucking line.
被Aidan的眼神戳死了……
> 我来回应