翻译

The Toll Collector

She was a toll collector. She liked the job. In that little box people talked to her, kid weren’t afraid, men even smiled at her. And this made the woman happy. She worked nights so there were never any people in the streets when her shift was over. She planned it this was precisely. Always the last to leave, always alone.

Some would say she was a monster, others just really different. She dreamed of being a beautiful dancer, a ballerina, but with such a figure she knew she would only get laughed at.

The woman lived alone. She gave up any hope of love or companionship a long time ago. She built herself a house on a hill and here is where she spent her days.
She would practice her dancing steps in her tutu and pretend she was a prima ballerina. They wouldn’t sell her pointe shoes because she wasn’t classically trained, so she made her own. Sometimes she would dance through the days, sometimes she didn’t know what to do with herself, but this was the only way for her and she called her life happy. I have what I need and that is enough, she thought. You know a heart can live with loneliness, but it never gets used to it.

The days grew longer for the woman alone in her house. She became restless. Maybe I need a hobby, she thought, so she took up knitting. She knew it was for old ladies but she didn’t care. First she knitted a blanket for herself, then one for the floor, like a rug. Then she knitted a cover for her tea kettle, and four for the walls, and one for her mirror, and socks and hats galore. The woman knitted through the days thinking it would settle her mind and her loneliness but that sad feeling in her heart only grew as did all those knitted things.

She didn’t know if it was lack of excitement or she was losing it but she began to see things. I’m losing it, she thought, but she couldn’t understand why.

She was thinking how to knit a cover for the tree when she noticed something moving. She watched as each child fell. One by one they left the tree continuing on their way. It was the natural progression. Changing in hopes to become something greater. But there was one who did not move. One who was stilled by fear. Why is this little one so afraid, thought the woman and she went to help it.

It was then that the woman finally understood her sadness and she knew something had to change. She became someone else that night. There, standing in the dark, hope filled her heart, and she believed she could be more.

She left her little house that night. Left all her knitted coverings in place, and only took one suitcase with her ballet shoes inside. Of course she was afraid as she left her home, but she promised herself, that night, to never again, be so alone.

她是个收费员,她喜欢她的工作。在那个小盒子里，她和人们对话，孩子们不会害怕她，大人们会甚至对她微笑，这都令她快活。她在夜晚工作，所以在她换岗的时候街上空无一人。她计算的刚刚好，总是最后一个离开，总是孤身一人。

也许有人会觉得她是个怪物，或者至少是与众不同的。她梦想着成为一个美丽的舞者，一个芭蕾舞演员，但是她知道像她这样怪模怪样的外形只会招来别人的嘲笑罢了。

女孩独自生活着。她很早以前便放弃了“希望”与“友情”这种奢侈的东西。她在山顶上为自己建了一座房子，并独守终日。

她穿着她的芭蕾舞裙练习舞步，假装自己是一位芭蕾舞巨星。没人会卖给她芭蕾舞鞋，因为她并未受过专业训练，于是她自己为自己做了一双。有时她整日舞蹈，有时她不知自己一人能做什么，但是跳舞时，是她，在这个灰暗的生活中唯一可以称为快乐的时刻。“我拥有了我想要的，这已经足够了。”她不断的跟自己说着。你要知道，一颗心可以忍受孤独痛苦，但是从未习惯过这种感觉。

当她独自消磨的时候，日子变得好长。她觉得坐立不安，精疲力尽。“也许我需要一个爱好”她想。于是她开始疯狂的编制，为四面墙，为一面镜子...还编出许许多多的袜子和帽子。她以为这样做可以安抚她的躁动和孤独，但是内心的悲伤却像在房间里的编织物一般更疯狂的攀升着。

她不知道是否生活缺乏悸动，或者是她自己正在失去它们，她开始产生幻觉。我正在失去什么，她想，但是她不明白为什么。

当她计划为树编织一件遮蔽时，她留意到有什么东西正在那萌动着。她眼见着每一个孩子掉落下来。一个接着一个，它们离开了大树的庇护，开始它们各自的旅程。这，是自然的进程。满怀期望，去变成一些更伟大的东西。但是那还剩一个静静的挂在树上，一个被自己的恐惧困住的孩子。为什么唯独这个小东西那么害怕？女孩走过去想帮帮它...

女孩终于...终于明白了自己为何悲伤，有些东西，是一定要去改变的。那晚，她变成了另一个人。在那里，在黑暗中，她感到希望充斥着她的心，她相信自己可以比现在更多更多...

那一晚，她离弃了她的小屋。离弃了所有的编织物，只带着一个旅行箱，和她的芭蕾舞鞋。无庸置疑的，她在走出门的那一刻内心是恐惧的，但是她向自己承诺，从那一晚开始，永远不再令自己孤独