I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in so long. I feel like I've been lost,no bearings,no compass.I kept crashing into things,a little crazy. I guess. I've never been lost before,you're my true north,I could always steer for home when you were my home.
Forgive me for being so angry when you left, I still think some mistakes been made...and I'm waiting for God to take it back. But I'm doing better now, the work helps me. Most of all, you helped me. You came into my dream last night with that smile of yours that always held with me like a lover, rocked me like a child...All I remember from the dream..is a feeling of peace...I woke up with that feeling, and try to keep it alive as long as I could. Im writing to tell you that I'm on the journey toward that peace,and to tell you that I'm so sorry about so many things. I'm sorry I didn't take better care of you so that you never spent one minute being cold ,scared or sick...I'm sorry I didn't try harder to find words to tell you what I was feeling, I'm sorry I never fixed that screemdoor..I fixed it now. I'm sorry I ever fought with you,I'm sorry I didn't apologise more...I was too proud.I'm sorry I didn't bring you more compliments. I never think what you wore and every way you fixed your hair...I'm sorry I didn't hold on you so much strength that even God could pull you away...
There isn't an hour of my life without you in it. I mend the boats, test them, and all the memories come in like the tide.
I was thinking today of when we were young, and you left our world for a bigger world. I was a lot more scared than I would admit, I fought my fear..by telling myself you'll come back someday..and trying to think the first thing I'll say to you when I saw you again. I must have tried 100 possibilities. What did I finally say? Not much.My mouth wouldn't work except to kiss you, and when you said "I'm here to stay", that's said it all. Well, I'm doing it again, keep imagining what I'd say to you when you came back...
My life began when I found you and I thought it ended when I fail to save you.I thought hanging on to your memory was to keeping both of us alive.But I was wrong, a woman named Theresa showed me that if I was brave enough to open my heart..I could love again no matter how terrible my grave. She made me realise that I was only half to alive...It scared me and it hurt.And I didn't know how much I needed her until that night I watched her fly away.When that airplane took off, I felt something inside me tear away, and I knew,I should stopped her, I should followed her home.And tomorrow I'm gonna sail to the windypoint...and I'm going to say goodbye to you. And I'm going to go to this woman to see if I could win her heart...
If I can，and I know you bless me,and bless us all.If I can't,and I'm still bless. Because I have the privilege of loving twice in my life,she gave me that.If I tell you I love her as much as I loved you...and you'll know the whole story. Rest in peace, my love.
laura pausini-one more time