A naked blonde walks into a bar, carrying a poodle under one arm and a 6 foot salami under the other. The Bardtender says, 'So, I don't suppose you'd be needing a drink?'
The blonde says "I definitely do, after what just happened to me."
The bartender says "I'm so sorry. What happened?"
The blonde says, "Well, my boyfriend and I were just about to make love, when out of nowhere the crazy bastard says 'I'm gonna pound my favorite bitch with my giant sausage'. So I grabbed them both and got the hell out of there!"