「We go to school to prepare us for the real world.
I'm no sure I like the real world.
So you want to bury your head in Socrates?
You know that Socrates never actually wrote anything.
That's beside the point. If you don't like it, you change it.」
「I work on behalf of cause I believe in. That's how I sleep at night.」
「Dildos are illegal in Texas, but Joe Public can walk into a sport store and walk out with a shotgun.
That would explain the low rate of dildo-related murders in Texas.」
「A conviction lobbyist need only believe in their ability to win.」
「If Socrates never wrote anything, how is it anyone's ever heard of him?」
「Welcome to America, where you'll wait six months for an X-ray, but, hey, you can buy an AR-15 in five minutes flat.」
「I pay you so I can imagine a life I chose to forego in the pursuit of my career.」
「In your long and distinguished career, you've done precisely jack-shit for feminism.
Because gender doesn't interest me.
The only thing you're missing is a dick.」
「Nothing is unimpeachable, not even the Constitution.」
「I'm a "resource"?
Professionally, yes. I understand you have feelings, and a life, but I have no duty to them. I have a duty to the case, and if the two conflict, there will only ever be one winner.」
「I grew up lying. Didn't want to. I had to. That's why I excel at it. It's a skill I would've happily traded for a normal life.」
「You crossed the line when you stopped treating people with respect. You're smart enough to know that. You just don't care.」
「I wish that those members would use their votes, not in the interest of their political advancement, but for what they believe is right for their country. But I know my wishes are wasted. And that this will never happen. Because our system is rotten. It doesn't reward honest politicians, who vote with their conscience. It rewards rats who are willing to sell out their country to keep their noses in the trough. Make no mistake. These rats are the real parasites.」
「Prison's not so bad if you don't have a penis. We don't shank each other, we form self-help groups. There's a black market in lip gloss.」