I'm afraid John,I can't congratulate you. All the emotions and in particular love stand opposed to the pure, cold reason I hold above all things. A wedding is,in my considered opinion, nothing short of a celebrition of all that is false and specious and irrational and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world. Today we honor the deathwatch beetle that is the doom of our society and in time one feels certain our entire species.
But anyway, let's talk about John. If I burden myself with a little helpmate during my adventures,this is not out of sentiment or caprice, it is that he has many fine qualities of his own that he has overlooked in his obsession with me. Indeed, any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes in truth from the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides. It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend to favour exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day. There is a certain analogy there , I fell, and contrast is, after all, God's own plan to enhance the beaty of his creation.Or it would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot.
The point I'm trying to make is that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant and all round obnoxious arsehole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet. I am dismissive of the virtuous, unaware of the beautiful and uncomprehending in the face of the happy. So if I didn't understand I was being asked to be Best Man, it is because I never expected to be anybody's best friend and certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing.
John, I am a ridiculous man. Redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship. But as I am apparently your beat friend, I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion. Actually, now I can. Mary, when I say you deserve this man, it is the highest compliment of which I am capable. John,you have endured war and injury and tragic loss, so sorry again about that last one, so know this, today you sit between the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved. In short, the two people who love you most in all this world, and I know I speak for Mary as well when I say, we will never let you down and we have a life time ahead to prove that.
约翰，我是一个荒谬的人，但是被你的热情和对友(gan)谊(qing )的忠贞拯救了。尽管我是你的好朋(ji)友，我还(dang)是( ran)不能祝贺你的婚姻。但是现在我要祝贺你。玛丽，你值得拥有这个男人，这是我能表达的最高称赞。约翰，你经历过战争，受过伤，有过悲惨的损失，我再次对你遭受的损失表示遗憾。要知道，今天你坐在(你妻子和)你拯救过的人中间，简而言之就是世上最爱你的两(na)个人,我知道玛丽也是那么想的，我(们)永远都不会让你失望，我(们)会用一生的时间来证明。