AoU rant(重点观影须知要放在题目,不要带不清楚漫威宇宙的朋友看,全程追问为什么)
这篇影评可能有剧透
前言
先解释一下题目,这大概是史上最exclusionary的漫威电影,对漫威宇宙的了解程度将与观影愉悦感构成直接正比;由于我看的是首映,有几幕周围人都在nerdgasm,而没看过漫画的我整个困惑脸;所以如果连前几部电影都不熟悉的观众,可能全程出戏,我猜这是漫威的方式告诉大家,你不关注我们吗,所以看不懂吗,well then FUCK YOU
- 全篇充满剧透,此刻掉头还来得及
- 本人说话喜欢夹英文可能会为某些朋友造成不适,此刻掉头还来得及
- 已自行分区,漫威粉请点1,DC粉请点2,赤果剧透请点3,小花絮请点4,笑点集请点5
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正文
LA首映后看到了一些影评人的负面意见,作为一个defensive的脑残粉当时觉得不是很开心like how dare you,自己看完后,整体感觉借用一句男神Jesse Eisenberg的话:
‘No compliment is ever sufficient; Every criticism, of course, is true.’
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. 先挑好话讲
1.1 Joss Whedon痕迹非常重,never-ending puns,a LOT of brilliant one-liners from almost EVERY character,预估两个月后汤上将大面积出现gif sets(搓手等
1.2 意料之中的是打斗戏有5-10场非常棒,prepare to cry nerds, prepare to CRY
1.3 有些许镜头简直Orson Welles遗风,kudos to Joss Whedon
1.4 在美队前不准说脏话梗 DDDDD (watch your gosh darn language!)
1.5 美队说脏话吓到Nick Fury梗 DDDDD
1.6 Stan Lee的cameo可爱坏了
1.7 大家试着举锤子那段简直好喜欢,你们估计也都在teaser里看过了,值得一提是当初放出来的teaser里Tony尝试时说的是’I’ll be fair but firmly cruel’, 电影里换成了’I will be reinstituting Prima Nocte.’ 个人觉得teaser版比较逗
随口一提Prima Nocte指得是中世纪国王/权贵有权利在少女新婚夜在丈夫前先睡了姑娘的权利,漫威把Tony台词改成这一版必然会引来争议
再随口一提Natasha是唯一没有去试拎起锤子的人,讽刺的是,在漫画里曾一度黑寡妇是被认为worthy可以拿起锤子的
1.8 Thor和Tony争论谁的女朋友比较棒 (awww
1.9 盾铁劈柴大挑战,胜负场面简直不忍看
1.10 A+++++ background story,Natasha的让我想用毛毯裹住她抱住她告诉她一切都会好的
1.11 看过黑寡妇背景故事后看到aunt Nat好甜心都化了:’ )
1.12 A++++++ character development,Clint这部不仅萌煞,以前为什么低调少言也得到了合理的解释
1.13 老磁家双胞胎的口音萌萌哒
1.14 Natasha ships Stony, I repeat, Natasha ships Stony
1.15 Clint is a farm boy, I repeat, Clint is a farm boy
1.16 Steve最后提出的把锤子放到上升的电梯里电梯是否worthy令我陷入了沉思
1.17 HAIL HULKBUSTER AMOUR
1.18 还记得冬兵里在SHIELD工作的一个技术支持小哥吗,Hydra的人用枪指着他逼他把舰艇放上天他很有骨气的说NO I'm not launching those ships,这部里短暂出现了一下,仍然还在Fury手下工作,and he launches the ship this time : )
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2. The No-Nos
2.1 Plot what plot?
2.2 汤上看一妹子说plot是这样的:
Tony: Tony Yes!
Everyone: Tony No!
Tony: Tony NO....
嗯没错,that's the entire plot
2.3 太多角色根本兼顾不过来,很多人真的没有必要出现的,比如Prof Selvig (巨石阵裸奔那位),Rhodey,棒子妹等(棒子妹角色用途基本等于上一部的Selvig加IM3的王学兵,但毫无存在感不如把她的戏份给Agent Hill,再不济给范冰冰都行啊),砍掉配角多给老磁家孩子们戏份也许更好,其重点原因见3.7剧透
题外话这也是我对DC接下来的几部担心的原因,没有solo-movie撑场就直接把Suicide Squad,Justice League多个角色一块儿扔出来
2.4 Continuity略糟糕,记得在Iron Man 3结束时Tony做手术以及炸掉盔甲留下为什么他会回归的悬念,Thor 2后Thor离开Asgard去哪了是到地球与科学组同居了吗都没有提一提
2.5 Vision面瘫(当然我觉得是角色设定问题Paul Bettany粉丝请不要拉黑我><
2.6 彩蛋不看也罢,tell me something I don’t already know
2.7 继题目忍痛承认这一点,如果你不是一个mega-nerd,你会或多或少的觉得无聊的
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3. 说好的剧透呢
3.1 没有抖森,我和大家一样伤心欲绝
3.2 no more Jarvis :' (
3.3 Clintasha is officially DEAD. (他们的关系让我想到不含结局的寻妈记中的Ted和Robin你们自行体会,但我迅速从萌他们是一对转换成了萌他们的友谊,细想也是很暖的~
3.4 Brutasha is HAPPENING,我在观影中经历了从接受无能,到可以理解,到萌的过程,漫威真魔教,洗脑大法好
3.5 你们的盾铁在走向官配的大道上, 有几幕糖真够shippers甜到内战
3.6 some Stony tension scenes, to foreshadow 'Civil War', obviously
3.7 Ultron的性格基调远不及预告片中的黑暗,甚至有一点逗比,这也是其他众多影评重点攻击AoU的一点;电影中给出的解释是,Tony叫Ultron做junior,Wanda也暗示了Ultron从他的创造者身上继承了一部分东西(所以包括贱萌?)当然漫威本来就是走活泼系的喜欢黑暗你们可以看绿灯侠咯#mean face#
3.8 死掉的角色是,除了不死的Hulk与Thor,唯一一个没有出现在imdb的Civil War名单中的,(看这其实不叫剧透,只是通过基本推理也可以得出是不是。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。确定要看?。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
快银,it was completely uncalled for,最大可能是为了不与X-men冲突. 心疼Aaron,台词五句不能更多,毫无任何角色发展,莫名其妙就领了便当,导致这个虐点并没有计划中虐,让人觉得没有必要
3.9 有一幕实在舍不得透出来,还是希望大家自行去影院感受那个惊喜,EVERYONE GASPED in cinema when that one person did that one thing with that one prop to that one person.
3.10 彩蛋只有一个,是Thanos正脸说'I'm doing it myself',暗示抢夺Vision脑门上的infinity stone,即下两部'The Infinity War'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4. Trivia
在首映看到了全卡司,值得一提是Elisabeth和Aaron真人好看到吓人,果然小年轻出来混靠得都是美貌,Jeremy人特别甜签满全场,agent叫他回去给记者照相他说(大意)’I care about these guys (fans) more than any of them (the press)’,大家就不要黑鹰眼啦而且他这部很可爱的我保证。Mark更是各种软萌甜,我怎么知道软的呢自己体会,ehehehehehehehehehehehe
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5. Punchlines, in chronicle order
(开场第二三句即)
Tony Stark: Shit!
Steve Rogers: LANGUAGE!
(Villains shoot at the Iron Man amour)
Tony Stark (shoots back): My turn!
(Villains fall)
Tony Stark: Good talk!
Wounded villain: No it wasn't!
Tony Stark (walks towards a wall): Please be a secret door, please be a secret door.
Secret door: *opens*
Tony Stark: Yay~
Maria Hill: All set up boss.
Tony Stark (points at Captain): Actually he's the boss.
Tony Stark: I just pay for everything and design everything, make everyone look cooler.
Maria Hill (向队长解释双胞胎说了一堆术语队长迷惑脸后): Well, he's fast and she's weird.
Thor: See, this was aged for a thousand years, and the barrels built from the wreak of Gronhill's fleet. It is not meant for mortal men.
Stan Lee: Neither was Omaha beach, blondie.
Steve Rogers (giving relationship advice): Look, as the world's leading authority on waiting too long...
Bruce Banner: Tony, this might not be the time.
Tony Stark: Really? That's it? You just roll over and show your belly every time somebody snarls?
Bruce Banner: Only when I've created a murder bot!
Tony Stark: We didn't, we weren't even close! Were we close to the interface?
(Bruce shrugs and nods)
Thor: No one needs to break anything.
Ultron: Clearly you've never made an Omelette.
Tony Stark (to Thor): He beat me by one second!
Ultron: I can't literally throw up in my mouth.
Tony Stark: What's the vibranium for?
Ultron: I'm glad you asked, because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan.
Natasha Romanoff: Thor, report on the Hulk.
Thor: The gates of hell are filled with the screams of his victims.
铁铁穿上Hulkbuster不小心打掉了Hulk一颗牙
Tony Stark (terrified voice): .................I'm sorry...
Tony Stark (punching Hulk): Go to sleep! Go to sleep!
(盾铁一边砍柴一边就正义和世界和平展开争论最后Tony生气走开,他那堆柴是队长的三分之一)
Tony Stark: Don't take from my pile!
Steve Rogers: Son of a bitch, Fury.
Nick Fury: Son, you kissed your mother with that mouth?
Nick Fury: Guy is multiplying like a catholic rabbit.
Ultron: I don't think you fully understand. I will take everything from you Maker. I will take your creations, your inventions and I will turn them against you.
Tony Stark: Well I only created about 300 suits so
Steve Rogers: You need to find a new hobby Stark.
Ultron: As I always say, keep your friends rich, and your enemies rich, and then find out which is which.
Clint Barton: The city is flying. We're fighting an army of robots. And I have a bow and arrows.
Thor: Is that the best you can do?
(Ultron找来更多机器人大锤傻眼)
Steve Rogers: You had to ask.
Ultron: You're unbearably naive.
Vision: Well, I was born yesterday.
Steve Rogers: Elevator not worthy.
先解释一下题目,这大概是史上最exclusionary的漫威电影,对漫威宇宙的了解程度将与观影愉悦感构成直接正比;由于我看的是首映,有几幕周围人都在nerdgasm,而没看过漫画的我整个困惑脸;所以如果连前几部电影都不熟悉的观众,可能全程出戏,我猜这是漫威的方式告诉大家,你不关注我们吗,所以看不懂吗,well then FUCK YOU
- 全篇充满剧透,此刻掉头还来得及
- 本人说话喜欢夹英文可能会为某些朋友造成不适,此刻掉头还来得及
- 已自行分区,漫威粉请点1,DC粉请点2,赤果剧透请点3,小花絮请点4,笑点集请点5
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
正文
LA首映后看到了一些影评人的负面意见,作为一个defensive的脑残粉当时觉得不是很开心like how dare you,自己看完后,整体感觉借用一句男神Jesse Eisenberg的话:
‘No compliment is ever sufficient; Every criticism, of course, is true.’
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. 先挑好话讲
1.1 Joss Whedon痕迹非常重,never-ending puns,a LOT of brilliant one-liners from almost EVERY character,预估两个月后汤上将大面积出现gif sets(搓手等
1.2 意料之中的是打斗戏有5-10场非常棒,prepare to cry nerds, prepare to CRY
1.3 有些许镜头简直Orson Welles遗风,kudos to Joss Whedon
1.4 在美队前不准说脏话梗 DDDDD (watch your gosh darn language!)
1.5 美队说脏话吓到Nick Fury梗 DDDDD
1.6 Stan Lee的cameo可爱坏了
1.7 大家试着举锤子那段简直好喜欢,你们估计也都在teaser里看过了,值得一提是当初放出来的teaser里Tony尝试时说的是’I’ll be fair but firmly cruel’, 电影里换成了’I will be reinstituting Prima Nocte.’ 个人觉得teaser版比较逗
随口一提Prima Nocte指得是中世纪国王/权贵有权利在少女新婚夜在丈夫前先睡了姑娘的权利,漫威把Tony台词改成这一版必然会引来争议
再随口一提Natasha是唯一没有去试拎起锤子的人,讽刺的是,在漫画里曾一度黑寡妇是被认为worthy可以拿起锤子的
1.8 Thor和Tony争论谁的女朋友比较棒 (awww
1.9 盾铁劈柴大挑战,胜负场面简直不忍看
1.10 A+++++ background story,Natasha的让我想用毛毯裹住她抱住她告诉她一切都会好的
1.11 看过黑寡妇背景故事后看到aunt Nat好甜心都化了:’ )
1.12 A++++++ character development,Clint这部不仅萌煞,以前为什么低调少言也得到了合理的解释
1.13 老磁家双胞胎的口音萌萌哒
1.14 Natasha ships Stony, I repeat, Natasha ships Stony
1.15 Clint is a farm boy, I repeat, Clint is a farm boy
1.16 Steve最后提出的把锤子放到上升的电梯里电梯是否worthy令我陷入了沉思
1.17 HAIL HULKBUSTER AMOUR
1.18 还记得冬兵里在SHIELD工作的一个技术支持小哥吗,Hydra的人用枪指着他逼他把舰艇放上天他很有骨气的说NO I'm not launching those ships,这部里短暂出现了一下,仍然还在Fury手下工作,and he launches the ship this time : )
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. The No-Nos
2.1 Plot what plot?
2.2 汤上看一妹子说plot是这样的:
Tony: Tony Yes!
Everyone: Tony No!
Tony: Tony NO....
嗯没错,that's the entire plot
2.3 太多角色根本兼顾不过来,很多人真的没有必要出现的,比如Prof Selvig (巨石阵裸奔那位),Rhodey,棒子妹等(棒子妹角色用途基本等于上一部的Selvig加IM3的王学兵,但毫无存在感不如把她的戏份给Agent Hill,再不济给范冰冰都行啊),砍掉配角多给老磁家孩子们戏份也许更好,其重点原因见3.7剧透
题外话这也是我对DC接下来的几部担心的原因,没有solo-movie撑场就直接把Suicide Squad,Justice League多个角色一块儿扔出来
2.4 Continuity略糟糕,记得在Iron Man 3结束时Tony做手术以及炸掉盔甲留下为什么他会回归的悬念,Thor 2后Thor离开Asgard去哪了是到地球与科学组同居了吗都没有提一提
2.5 Vision面瘫(当然我觉得是角色设定问题Paul Bettany粉丝请不要拉黑我><
2.6 彩蛋不看也罢,tell me something I don’t already know
2.7 继题目忍痛承认这一点,如果你不是一个mega-nerd,你会或多或少的觉得无聊的
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3. 说好的剧透呢
3.1 没有抖森,我和大家一样伤心欲绝
3.2 no more Jarvis :' (
3.3 Clintasha is officially DEAD. (他们的关系让我想到不含结局的寻妈记中的Ted和Robin你们自行体会,但我迅速从萌他们是一对转换成了萌他们的友谊,细想也是很暖的~
3.4 Brutasha is HAPPENING,我在观影中经历了从接受无能,到可以理解,到萌的过程,漫威真魔教,洗脑大法好
3.5 你们的盾铁在走向官配的大道上, 有几幕糖真够shippers甜到内战
3.6 some Stony tension scenes, to foreshadow 'Civil War', obviously
3.7 Ultron的性格基调远不及预告片中的黑暗,甚至有一点逗比,这也是其他众多影评重点攻击AoU的一点;电影中给出的解释是,Tony叫Ultron做junior,Wanda也暗示了Ultron从他的创造者身上继承了一部分东西(所以包括贱萌?)当然漫威本来就是走活泼系的喜欢黑暗你们可以看绿灯侠咯#mean face#
3.8 死掉的角色是,除了不死的Hulk与Thor,唯一一个没有出现在imdb的Civil War名单中的,(看这其实不叫剧透,只是通过基本推理也可以得出是不是。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。确定要看?。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
快银,it was completely uncalled for,最大可能是为了不与X-men冲突. 心疼Aaron,台词五句不能更多,毫无任何角色发展,莫名其妙就领了便当,导致这个虐点并没有计划中虐,让人觉得没有必要
3.9 有一幕实在舍不得透出来,还是希望大家自行去影院感受那个惊喜,EVERYONE GASPED in cinema when that one person did that one thing with that one prop to that one person.
3.10 彩蛋只有一个,是Thanos正脸说'I'm doing it myself',暗示抢夺Vision脑门上的infinity stone,即下两部'The Infinity War'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4. Trivia
在首映看到了全卡司,值得一提是Elisabeth和Aaron真人好看到吓人,果然小年轻出来混靠得都是美貌,Jeremy人特别甜签满全场,agent叫他回去给记者照相他说(大意)’I care about these guys (fans) more than any of them (the press)’,大家就不要黑鹰眼啦而且他这部很可爱的我保证。Mark更是各种软萌甜,我怎么知道软的呢自己体会,ehehehehehehehehehehehe
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5. Punchlines, in chronicle order
(开场第二三句即)
Tony Stark: Shit!
Steve Rogers: LANGUAGE!
(Villains shoot at the Iron Man amour)
Tony Stark (shoots back): My turn!
(Villains fall)
Tony Stark: Good talk!
Wounded villain: No it wasn't!
Tony Stark (walks towards a wall): Please be a secret door, please be a secret door.
Secret door: *opens*
Tony Stark: Yay~
Maria Hill: All set up boss.
Tony Stark (points at Captain): Actually he's the boss.
Tony Stark: I just pay for everything and design everything, make everyone look cooler.
Maria Hill (向队长解释双胞胎说了一堆术语队长迷惑脸后): Well, he's fast and she's weird.
Thor: See, this was aged for a thousand years, and the barrels built from the wreak of Gronhill's fleet. It is not meant for mortal men.
Stan Lee: Neither was Omaha beach, blondie.
Steve Rogers (giving relationship advice): Look, as the world's leading authority on waiting too long...
Bruce Banner: Tony, this might not be the time.
Tony Stark: Really? That's it? You just roll over and show your belly every time somebody snarls?
Bruce Banner: Only when I've created a murder bot!
Tony Stark: We didn't, we weren't even close! Were we close to the interface?
(Bruce shrugs and nods)
Thor: No one needs to break anything.
Ultron: Clearly you've never made an Omelette.
Tony Stark (to Thor): He beat me by one second!
Ultron: I can't literally throw up in my mouth.
Tony Stark: What's the vibranium for?
Ultron: I'm glad you asked, because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan.
Natasha Romanoff: Thor, report on the Hulk.
Thor: The gates of hell are filled with the screams of his victims.
铁铁穿上Hulkbuster不小心打掉了Hulk一颗牙
Tony Stark (terrified voice): .................I'm sorry...
Tony Stark (punching Hulk): Go to sleep! Go to sleep!
(盾铁一边砍柴一边就正义和世界和平展开争论最后Tony生气走开,他那堆柴是队长的三分之一)
Tony Stark: Don't take from my pile!
Steve Rogers: Son of a bitch, Fury.
Nick Fury: Son, you kissed your mother with that mouth?
Nick Fury: Guy is multiplying like a catholic rabbit.
Ultron: I don't think you fully understand. I will take everything from you Maker. I will take your creations, your inventions and I will turn them against you.
Tony Stark: Well I only created about 300 suits so
Steve Rogers: You need to find a new hobby Stark.
Ultron: As I always say, keep your friends rich, and your enemies rich, and then find out which is which.
Clint Barton: The city is flying. We're fighting an army of robots. And I have a bow and arrows.
Thor: Is that the best you can do?
(Ultron找来更多机器人大锤傻眼)
Steve Rogers: You had to ask.
Ultron: You're unbearably naive.
Vision: Well, I was born yesterday.
Steve Rogers: Elevator not worthy.