（Quotes） [after revealing her secret to Matt] Jenny Johnson: Say "I'd rather have a chainsaw shoved up my ass than tell." Matt Saunders: Is that a possibility? Jenny Johnson: Say it! Matt Saunders: Ok. I'd rather have a chainsaw shoved up my ass than tell.
Jenny Johnson: [after breaking the bed while having sex] I'm sorry. I'll get you a new one. Matt Saunders: A bed or a penis? Jenny Johnson: Both.
[in a dream sequence, Matt tells Vaughan G-Girl's secret identity] Jenny Johnson: [brandishing a chainsaw] I WARNED YOU, MATT SAUNDERS!
Vaughn Haige: There are 3 moments I'll remember 'til the day I die. 1: the look on my father's face when I graduated from Harvard law school. 2: Helping a beached mother whale give birth. And... 3: You and me, together, here, tonight. Shapely Bartender: Don't speak to me again... ever.