Wing to wing oar to oar

这部剧是和这个月结婚了两年的家属看的

主题曲setting sail的歌词一下子就抓住了我的心

竟和当时选在戒指上刻的字引用的诗竟然异曲同工：

Two such as us with such a master speed

Cannot be parted nor be swept away

From one another once we are agreed

That life is only life forevermore

Together wing to wing and oar to oar

关注我的友邻看我这一年的状态都很关心我的感情/婚姻生活

诚然 我对家属 对未来 甚至对婚姻本身都感到不确定和迷茫

研究表明婚姻里69%的问题都是无法解决的（至于这个神奇的数字怎么来的我们不在这里探讨）

而曾经给我信念的是我们愿意解决问题的态度

所以对于69%的问题作为一对非常喜欢控制非常有行动力的couple

这种态度让人反而都筋疲力尽

或者说让我

吵架渐渐看到如出一辙的pattern

最后连吵都不愿意吵了

因为疫情lockdown加上work from home

两个人24hx365days

少的是space and spice

逐渐意识到自己如此年轻 对很多人事还有自己都想得没有那么清楚

but will i ever be clear about anything?

after all, life/love/human relationships are always messy

爱有很多模式很多phases

就如剧中没有再见面的火车上的相遇

ONS的同性小哥

义无反顾杜鹃啼血般的爱

可能来得快去得快

遗憾也许因为回忆会更美好

浅点的爱没有那么热烈但会更长久点

人间世间有那么多种爱

它们都是值得体验并且美好的

但仔细想想我所拥有的又是多么不容易

心动的人可以很多

但能从like到love到something long-term and committed （not to mention a lifetime of commitment!)

需要的条件太多

比如（至少其中一个人是）secure attachment style

比如彼此都愿意commit的勇气

比如妥协

陪伴不说是长情的告白

但也是非常难遇甚至不可求的

虽然家属不喜欢做家务不喜欢看书没有耐心容易被work stressed经常让我恼

但他还是我最信任的人也是除了父母后最不会伤害我为我利益着想的人

是我要分享好消息或者哭诉的时候想到的第一个人

是会尽全力优化我想实现的想法的executor

是愿意和我一起在狂风暴雨中向世界启航的掌舵人

也许我们会一直sail on 也许我们有一天会被风浪打散

but by then we will have sailed a good journey

and I have loved

and that's all that matters

最后附上setting sail的歌词

We face the music together

And throw our hats in the ring

Facing all kinds of weather

And not afraid of anything

When the Sun comes up, we'll be on our way

And we don't care where we land

And the waves are high, but we won't turn 'round

'Cause your hand is in my hand

And, oh, you make me feel invincible

'Cause it's you and me

Through the wind and hail

Setting sail into the world

We built a house out of nowhere

And hung our hearts on the walls

I guess it all got too familiar

We let it crumble, wе let it fall

Hey!

In the mundanе stuff of the day to day

We forget what used to be

So I kick myself to remind myself

And it all comes back to me

And, oh, when we were scared of nothing, girl

It was you and me

Through the wind and hail

Setting sail into the world, yeah, yeah

Setting sail into the world