小小英國-搞串他鄉的故事 "Little Britain" Little Britain Abroad (2006)

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我来说两句

• 0 有用 鲍小斯儿 2010-12-12

  又看了一遍还能笑得跟王八蛋似的。。。

• 0 有用 Siren aka 塞塞 2010-11-19

  比美国版好看不少

• 1 有用 who's 劳人? 2010-08-21

  PRIME MINISTER又亮了

• 0 有用 斯德哥尔摩综合症 2011-01-15

  倒地不起……我爱Andy，我爱Lou~

讨论区   ·  ·  ·  ·  ·  ·

整季 第1集 第2集

feelzero 8天前

香港正版dvd 最近hmv做big sale
"Little Britain Abroad"跟"Little Britain:Live"
每隻只是$59, 第一季合集都只是$79
前幾天買了Abroad, 裡面2集以前已經看過
入手原因只為了片長2小時的特別收錄
the 58 minute, 58 second doc "Little Britain Down Under"
the 45 minute, 33 second "Little Britain Live Does Comic Relief"
5 minutes, 9 second of deleted scenes f 香港正版dvd 最近hmv做big sale
"Little Britain Abroad"跟"Little Britain:Live"
每隻只是$59, 第一季合集都只是$79
前幾天買了Abroad, 裡面2集以前已經看過
入手原因只為了片長2小時的特別收錄
the 58 minute, 58 second doc "Little Britain Down Under"
the 45 minute, 33 second "Little Britain Live Does Comic Relief"
5 minutes, 9 second of deleted scenes from Abroad
50 second "Comic Relief" trailer

當中Live Does Comic Relief
一開場就有Russell Brand客串, 最估唔到係名模Kate Moss都同佢地癲埋一份~~ ...展开 0回应

LoVe 37天前

字幕来自英語自習會小组 http://www.douban.com/group/topic/4931051/

2008-12-21 13:32:43 来自: pipkin(黎明破曉 萬物漸變)
http://www.douban.com/people/lsshha/

Little Britain abroad scripts
1
00:00:00,162 --> 00:00:03,551
NARRATOR: Britain, Britain, Britain.

2
00:00:03,641 --> 00:00:07,076
You're simply t 字幕来自英語自習會小组 http://www.douban.com/group/topic/4931051/

2008-12-21 13:32:43 来自: pipkin(黎明破曉 萬物漸變)
http://www.douban.com/people/lsshha/

Little Britain abroad scripts
1
00:00:00,162 --> 00:00:03,551
NARRATOR: Britain, Britain, Britain.

2
00:00:03,641 --> 00:00:07,076
You're simply the best,
better than all the rest.

3
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:09,275
Better than any other country,

4
00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,793
any other country that I have ever met.

5
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:16,871
There's no reason to ever leave,
unless you need to go to the loo.

6
00:00:16,958 --> 00:00:21,189
And yet they go. Do they go?.
Yes, they do do go.

7
00:00:21,277 --> 00:00:25,746
Let us see what happens when we take
Little Britain abroad.

8
00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:28,146
Come on, Charlie.

9
00:00:32,034 --> 00:00:34,263
We begin our journey in Britain,

10
00:00:34,354 --> 00:00:38,868
where Lou Todd has some rather
exciting news for his friend Andy.

11
00:00:39,153 --> 00:00:40,983
Trish has had her hair done.

12
00:00:44,152 --> 00:00:47,348
Now, Andy, I've got a surprise for you.

13
00:00:47,431 --> 00:00:48,499
Yeah, I know.

14
00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:51,343
-No, you don't know. It's a surprise.
-I know.

15
00:00:51,430 --> 00:00:53,545
You know the nice people from the church

16
00:00:53,629 --> 00:00:56,461
-that we go to on Sundays?.
-Don't like them.

17
00:00:57,149 --> 00:00:59,901
Well, they like you,
because they organised

18
00:00:59,988 --> 00:01:02,740
a bring-and-buy sale especially for you.

19
00:01:04,027 --> 00:01:06,540
They raised a lot of money.
And they asked me,

20
00:01:06,626 --> 00:01:08,855
"Where would you most like to go to
in the whole world?. "

21
00:01:08,946 --> 00:01:12,017
and I said,
"That's an easy one. Disney World."

22
00:01:12,105 --> 00:01:13,662
Can I just have the money?.

23
00:01:13,745 --> 00:01:16,941
So we have to get
your bag packed because, Andrew,

24
00:01:17,024 --> 00:01:19,776
we are getting on a plane
this afternoon.

25
00:01:20,703 --> 00:01:22,818
I'm gonna miss Bargain Hunt.

26
00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:25,498
Yes, you are gonna miss Bargain Hunt.

27
00:01:25,582 --> 00:01:28,539
But you're gonna be in Disney World.
Are you excited?.

28
00:01:29,141 --> 00:01:30,209
Yes.

29
00:01:30,301 --> 00:01:33,053
You're gonna go on
the Monorail Space Mountain

30
00:01:33,140 --> 00:01:35,175
and all the characters
are gonna be there.

31
00:01:35,260 --> 00:01:37,819
Who are you most excited about meeting?.

32
00:01:37,899 --> 00:01:39,411
Gordon the Gopher.

33
00:01:41,338 --> 00:01:42,452
Yeah.

34
00:01:42,858 --> 00:01:46,088
NARRATOR: In Paris, Anne is
paying a visit to the Louvre.

35
00:01:46,177 --> 00:01:49,293
At my age, I'm up all night
visiting the Louvre.

36
00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:52,448
You may not know about Anne.
Have you met Anne?.

37
00:01:53,136 --> 00:01:56,252
She's a keen admirer of Renaissance art,

38
00:01:56,335 --> 00:01:59,451
and when I asked her if there was
anywhere she wanted to visit,

39
00:01:59,534 --> 00:02:00,932
she said...

40
00:02:01,014 --> 00:02:04,722
Meaning here,
the finest art gallery in the world.

41
00:02:04,813 --> 00:02:08,691
And I think what you need to do with
somebody like Anne in a place like this

42
00:02:08,772 --> 00:02:10,807
is just to let her roam free.

43
00:02:10,892 --> 00:02:14,725
She's got to have
her own relationship with the art.

44
00:02:15,611 --> 00:02:17,202
(ALARM BLARING)

45
00:02:17,290 --> 00:02:18,881
(SCREAMING)

46
00:02:22,209 --> 00:02:24,483
I'll see you by the Rembrandts.

47
00:02:25,488 --> 00:02:27,762
NARRATOR: Along with France and Germany,

48
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,964
Spain is one of Europe's
Third World countries.

49
00:02:31,047 --> 00:02:34,083
Here in Majorca,
Carol Beer is the friendly face

50
00:02:34,166 --> 00:02:36,395
of Sunsearchers Holidays.

51
00:02:37,885 --> 00:02:41,763
Sunsearchers. Thi s must be us, dear.

52
00:02:41,965 --> 00:02:45,320
-Morning.
-Morning.

53
00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:56,591
(MICROPHONE SQUEALING)

54
00:02:57,721 --> 00:03:01,156
Hello, my name is Carol. I'm your rep.

55
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,197
Welcome to Spain.

56
00:03:03,839 --> 00:03:07,148
Ifyou'll look to your left,
you'll see Spain.

57
00:03:07,999 --> 00:03:11,354
If you look to your right,
you'll see Spain.

58
00:03:12,398 --> 00:03:17,550
Now, I'm here to make sure your holiday
is fun, fun, fun.

59
00:03:18,636 --> 00:03:19,784
Fun.

60
00:03:20,196 --> 00:03:23,665
Any questions or problems, come to me.

61
00:03:23,755 --> 00:03:26,188
MAN: Excuse me. Excuse me.

62
00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:27,706
Yes, old man.

63
00:03:27,994 --> 00:03:30,791
Sorry, sorry.
My wife's feeling rather nauseous.

64
00:03:30,873 --> 00:03:33,511
Do you think it would be possible
just to stop the coach for a moment

65
00:03:33,593 --> 00:03:36,106
so she can get out and get some air?.

66
00:03:37,232 --> 00:03:40,701
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

67
00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:42,783
MAN: Thank you.

68
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,021
Thank you. Excuse me.

69
00:03:47,110 --> 00:03:49,259
(GROANING)

70
00:03:49,349 --> 00:03:51,498
Okay?. All right.

71
00:03:51,629 --> 00:03:53,698
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

72
00:03:53,788 --> 00:03:56,096
-Okay?. Yeah?.
-I can't...

73
00:03:56,187 --> 00:03:57,505
Must be something
you had on the plane or...

74
00:03:57,587 --> 00:03:58,814
-Hey...
-My stomach...

75
00:03:58,907 --> 00:04:01,136
Hey. Hey. Hey.

76
00:04:02,066 --> 00:04:03,384
Hey, hey.

77
00:04:04,746 --> 00:04:06,258
It's all right.

78
00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:17,851
NARRATOR: Myfanwy has left
Llanddewi Brefi

79
00:04:17,943 --> 00:04:21,901
to open a new bar here
on the Greek island of Mykonos.

80
00:04:21,982 --> 00:04:24,654
I went to Mykonos once. I loathed it.

81
00:04:24,741 --> 00:04:28,449
Full of gays. Me and my boyfriend
got the first plane home.

82
00:04:30,140 --> 00:04:32,209
He should be here by now.

83
00:04:35,139 --> 00:04:38,494
Dafydd! Welcome to Mykonos.

84
00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:41,011
Bacardi and Coke, please, Myfanwy.

85
00:04:41,537 --> 00:04:43,128
Coming right up.

86
00:04:44,097 --> 00:04:47,850
I can't believe it.
You've actually left Llanddewi Brefi.

87
00:04:47,936 --> 00:04:49,288
I've travelled, Myfanwy.

88
00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:53,049
I went on a geography field trip
to Merthyr Tydfil in 1 987.

89
00:04:53,974 --> 00:04:56,009
I'm so glad you're here.

90
00:04:56,094 --> 00:04:58,243
Well, in the end,
I had to leave Llanddewi.

91
00:04:58,333 --> 00:05:02,291
-It was no place for an out gay man.
-Don't be daft.

92
00:05:02,372 --> 00:05:05,761
I'm sorry, Myfanwy, but the homophobes
there were very homophobic.

93
00:05:05,852 --> 00:05:08,968
-Like who?.
-Father Hughes, Sergeant Evers.

94
00:05:09,051 --> 00:05:10,608
They're bum chums.

95
00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:13,406
Well, Mr Teal, the fireman.

96
00:05:13,490 --> 00:05:16,401
He's always sliding down
some pole or other.

97
00:05:16,769 --> 00:05:19,680
-My mother never accepted it.
-Your mother?.

98
00:05:19,768 --> 00:05:23,840
Oh, she's been lezzing it up
with my Auntie Ruth for years.

99
00:05:24,327 --> 00:05:26,760
-My own mother?.
-Yes!

100
00:05:26,847 --> 00:05:28,996
She's mad for muff.

101
00:05:30,126 --> 00:05:34,959
-Now, what do you think of my bar?.
-It's a bit poofy.

102
00:05:35,205 --> 00:05:37,195
Well, it is a gay bar, Dafydd.

103
00:05:37,284 --> 00:05:39,194
And I want this place to
be full tonight,

104
00:05:39,284 --> 00:05:41,751
so I need you to get yourself
down the beach

105
00:05:41,843 --> 00:05:43,241
and give out these fliers.

106
00:05:43,323 --> 00:05:46,234
Well, I'll be very surprised if you
have any customers at all, Myfanwy.

107
00:05:46,322 --> 00:05:48,789
Everybody knows I am the only gay...

108
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,758
You can say that any more, Dafydd.

109
00:05:50,841 --> 00:05:54,719
You're in Mykonos now.
This town is teeming with todger.

110
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,113
Really?.

111
00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:00,669
Yes. They'll be coming at you
from all angles tonight.

112
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:04,068
It's going to be a jism jamboree.

113
00:06:05,918 --> 00:06:07,191
Oh, God.

114
00:06:08,877 --> 00:06:13,233
NARRATOR: Aeroplanes were invented
in 1972 by Dr Peter Aeroplane.

115
00:06:13,316 --> 00:06:15,783
He and his wife Susan Helicopter

116
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:19,662
invented many of the modes
of air travel we enjoy today.

117
00:06:20,154 --> 00:06:23,350
-What are you watching, Andy?.
-Summat about a plane.

118
00:06:28,433 --> 00:06:31,390
-Mr T odd?.
-Yes, air stewardess.

119
00:06:31,472 --> 00:06:33,826
I've just spoken to the captain.
He said it's fine

120
00:06:33,911 --> 00:06:35,901
for you and your friend
to visit the cockpit now if you'd like.

121
00:06:35,991 --> 00:06:39,221
Oh, thanks for sorting that out for us.
It's very kind of you.

122
00:06:39,310 --> 00:06:41,027
You're very lovely.

123
00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:45,228
-Right, well, I better go and do the...
-Sorry. Where is the cockpit?.

124
00:06:45,309 --> 00:06:48,505
-It's at the front.
-Yes, yes, of course it is, yes.

125
00:06:48,588 --> 00:06:49,861
Okay.

126
00:06:49,948 --> 00:06:52,142
We're getting off at Florida.

127
00:06:52,467 --> 00:06:55,299
-I know you are.
-Are you going to Florida?.

128
00:06:55,906 --> 00:06:58,419
Yes. We're all going to Florida.

129
00:07:00,185 --> 00:07:01,663
Right, well, I'd better go
and do the duty free.

130
00:07:01,745 --> 00:07:05,259
Can I just say you look very pretty
in all your make-up?.

131
00:07:06,064 --> 00:07:07,382
Thank you.

132
00:07:12,343 --> 00:07:14,219
You love her.

133
00:07:16,901 --> 00:07:20,859
NARRATOR: Our next stop, Rome.
I do love Italian cuisine.

134
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,376
Alphabetti Spaghetti and a Cornetto.
Bellissimo!.

135
00:07:25,420 --> 00:07:28,377
-Buonasera, signore.
-Not a word.

136
00:07:33,458 --> 00:07:34,572
Well.

137
00:07:35,297 --> 00:07:37,651
We certainly packed a lot into today,
didn't we?.

138
00:07:37,737 --> 00:07:38,885
Yes, Judy.

139
00:07:38,976 --> 00:07:41,614
Did you find
my tour of Rome informative?.

140
00:07:41,696 --> 00:07:42,923
Oh, yes, Maggie.

141
00:07:43,015 --> 00:07:46,529
Though I would have preferred
a little less emphasis on Mussolini.

142
00:07:46,615 --> 00:07:49,082
He's a very misunderstood figure.

143
00:07:49,174 --> 00:07:51,368
Yes, he was a fascist dictator,

144
00:07:51,454 --> 00:07:54,923
but let he who is without sin
cast the first stone, Judy.

145
00:07:55,013 --> 00:07:56,491
Yes.

146
00:07:56,572 --> 00:07:59,563
Now, time for beddington.

147
00:08:01,571 --> 00:08:03,003
What are you doing, Maggie?.

148
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:05,206
I thought we could
keep each other company.

149
00:08:05,290 --> 00:08:07,519
It will be like being
back in Girls' Brigade.

150
00:08:07,610 --> 00:08:09,839
(STUTTERING)

151
00:08:09,929 --> 00:08:12,965
Well, I'll just go into the bathroom
and put my nightdress on.

152
00:08:13,049 --> 00:08:14,845
Don't be silly, Judy.

153
00:08:15,248 --> 00:08:18,000
You can get undressed here. Let me help.

154
00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:19,281
(EXCLAIMS)

155
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,717
(PURRING)

156
00:08:31,164 --> 00:08:35,599
You have very firm breasts
for a lady of your age, Judy.

157
00:08:36,163 --> 00:08:38,357
Thank you, Maggie.

158
00:08:39,363 --> 00:08:41,671
You can touch mine if you like.

159
00:08:41,802 --> 00:08:43,280
(STUTTERING)

160
00:08:43,562 --> 00:08:46,200
I think I'm all right, actually.

161
00:08:47,681 --> 00:08:49,398
Kiss me.

162
00:08:53,999 --> 00:08:57,035
-Good night, Maggie.
-No, Judy. Properly.

163
00:08:57,438 --> 00:08:58,836
Like this.

164
00:09:05,637 --> 00:09:08,150
What's the matter, Judy?.
You're stiff as a board.

165
00:09:08,236 --> 00:09:12,592
Well, Maggie, I am very flattered,
but it's not really my sort of thing.

166
00:09:12,675 --> 00:09:16,713
I have no issue with you being lesbian.

167
00:09:16,794 --> 00:09:18,226
Don't be ridiculous.

168
00:09:18,314 --> 00:09:21,783
I'm chairwoman
of the local Conservative association.

169
00:09:22,753 --> 00:09:24,663
Well, that doesn't mean
you're not lesbian.

170
00:09:24,752 --> 00:09:27,060
Piffle. I'm not lesbian.

171
00:09:27,152 --> 00:09:30,461
Now, lie down on the bed
and get those knickers off.

172
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:34,579
Maggie, if one desires
sexual relations with women,

173
00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:36,341
one is lesbian.

174
00:09:38,189 --> 00:09:40,748
-Really?.
-Yes.

175
00:09:40,828 --> 00:09:42,340
You mean that I'm a...

176
00:09:42,428 --> 00:09:44,099
(RETCHING)

177
00:09:45,227 --> 00:09:47,296
Are you all right, Maggie?.

178
00:09:48,107 --> 00:09:51,940
Maggie, get some air!
Maggie, this way, quick!

179
00:10:01,304 --> 00:10:06,774
(SPEAKING IN ITALIAN)

180
00:10:07,102 --> 00:10:09,057
In English, please.

181
00:10:12,381 --> 00:10:15,133
NARRATOR: After a continental breakfast
of Fizzy Fruit,

182
00:10:15,221 --> 00:10:19,008
sweaty cheese and some other stuff
you don't know what it is,

183
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:22,648
Jerry and Evelyn are off
to see their holiday rep.

184
00:10:22,739 --> 00:10:24,217
Good morning. Now...

185
00:10:24,299 --> 00:10:27,096
It' s not 9: 00 yet.
I haven't started work.

186
00:10:28,658 --> 00:10:30,170
Sorry.

187
00:10:33,856 --> 00:10:37,689
Right. Well, we thought it might be
rather nice to book an excursion.

188
00:10:37,775 --> 00:10:40,652
You're a bit late.
Most people booked theirs last night.

189
00:10:40,735 --> 00:10:43,453
Well, if you hadn't driven off
without us...

190
00:10:43,534 --> 00:10:47,845
Are there any tickets available
for the concert in the square tonight?.

191
00:10:50,852 --> 00:10:52,489
Computer says no.

192
00:10:53,132 --> 00:10:57,170
Well, what about the boat trip?.
Any places left on the boat trip?.

193
00:10:58,851 --> 00:11:04,048
There's one place left.
Would you be prepared to swim alongside?.

194
00:11:04,849 --> 00:11:07,316
-I'm not a very strong swimmer.
-No.

195
00:11:08,728 --> 00:11:11,116
-What about the monastery?.
-There's a lot of steps.

196
00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:13,084
-Oh, well, then...
-You're quite old.

197
00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:15,964
I don't want you dropping down
dead on me.

198
00:11:16,047 --> 00:11:20,482
Well, that's very thoughtful of you.
Are there any trips still available?.

199
00:11:23,365 --> 00:11:25,878
Legoland, Windsor.

200
00:11:26,164 --> 00:11:28,438
Is there anyone you could call?.

201
00:11:31,163 --> 00:11:35,201
I could try the Spanish rep.
See if she's any cancellations.

202
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,552
(PHONE RINGING)

203
00:11:55,318 --> 00:11:56,955
She must be busy.

204
00:11:57,797 --> 00:11:58,990
縎?.

205
00:11:59,077 --> 00:12:03,149
縏uvo alguno cancellation
para una excursi髇?.

206
00:12:06,355 --> 00:12:08,470
La computadora dice que no.

207
00:12:16,233 --> 00:12:18,507
NARRATOR: When British people
travel abroad,

208
00:12:18,592 --> 00:12:21,981
they always behave
in an exemplary fashion.

209
00:12:22,072 --> 00:12:25,268
That a Briton is awaiting trial
in this Thai prison

210
00:12:25,351 --> 00:12:27,784
must be a miscarriage of justice.

211
00:12:29,910 --> 00:12:31,581
Oh, no, it's her.

212
00:12:34,389 --> 00:12:36,583
(SPEAKING IN THAI)

213
00:12:37,668 --> 00:12:39,578
(SPEAKING IN THAI)

214
00:12:42,627 --> 00:12:47,176
Hello, Vicky. I'm Charles Tate
from the British Embassy here.

215
00:12:47,626 --> 00:12:52,379
I came as quickly as I could.
Now, you hardly need me to tell you

216
00:12:52,465 --> 00:12:55,342
that drug smuggling
is a very serious offence.

217
00:12:55,424 --> 00:12:59,462
And if you're found guilty, you could
spend the rest of your life in prison.

218
00:12:59,783 --> 00:13:01,773
All right!

219
00:13:01,862 --> 00:13:04,250
Vicky, I'm here to try and help.

220
00:13:04,342 --> 00:13:07,378
Now, can you please explain to me
how you came to have

221
00:13:07,461 --> 00:13:09,974
ten kilos of heroin in your luggage?.

222
00:13:10,220 --> 00:13:14,098
God, this is like being back at school.
I've never even done nothing or nothing.

223
00:13:14,180 --> 00:13:15,612
Let me tell you the whole thing, right.

224
00:13:15,699 --> 00:13:17,256
'Cause we was all at
the ice-skating rink.

225
00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:19,488
Only Kerry Maynard never came
because she burnt her foot

226
00:13:19,578 --> 00:13:20,976
on one of
Shazney Lowe's hair straighteners.

227
00:13:21,058 --> 00:13:23,252
But, anyway, good,
'cause she wasn't even invited anyway.

228
00:13:23,337 --> 00:13:25,691
She's like well gay,
'cause she's only got three Asbos

229
00:13:25,777 --> 00:13:29,405
and one of them was only for going "uh"
at a social worker.

230
00:13:30,696 --> 00:13:34,574
Right, but that doesn't explain how you
came to have the drugs in your luggage.

231
00:13:34,655 --> 00:13:35,882
I'm getting there!

232
00:13:35,975 --> 00:13:38,613
God, I was just about to tell you
if you had just waited.

233
00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:39,921
So rude.

234
00:13:41,493 --> 00:13:43,642
So, anyway, this whole other thing
happened summat or nothing,

235
00:13:43,733 --> 00:13:45,085
because we was all at the ice rink,

236
00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:46,889
and it was playing
this really old song that was like...

237
00:13:46,972 --> 00:13:49,405
# Informer you know say daddy me snow
me-a gonna blame

238
00:13:49,491 --> 00:13:50,718
# A licky boom-boom down #

239
00:13:50,811 --> 00:13:53,278
And this bloke came up to me.
He was like, "You are well fit."

240
00:13:53,371 --> 00:13:55,201
I was like, "Shut up."
He's like, "You well are."

241
00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:57,325
I was like, "No, I'm not. Get a life."
He's like, "You well are."

242
00:13:57,410 --> 00:13:59,525
I was like, "Yeah, you're right.
I'm the fittest girl in Bristol."

243
00:13:59,609 --> 00:14:01,246
And that is true,
apart from Denise Kilcannon.

244
00:14:01,329 --> 00:14:02,602
But then everyone knows Denise Kilcannon

245
00:14:02,688 --> 00:14:04,006
had a backstreet boob job for 1 00 quid,

246
00:14:04,088 --> 00:14:07,079
and now her tits look like
the Mitchell Brothers.

247
00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:12,085
Did this man offer you money
to take the suitcase through customs?.

248
00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:14,235
Yeah, he just said,
"Go to Thailand or summat or nothing

249
00:14:14,326 --> 00:14:15,394
"and bring this bag back."

250
00:14:15,486 --> 00:14:17,123
And then when I get home,
he's gonna give me 30 quid

251
00:14:17,205 --> 00:14:20,321
and he's going to get me in the VIP room
at Slappers in Fishponds.

252
00:14:21,364 --> 00:14:25,038
But did he tell you that you were going
to be transporting an illegal substance?.

253
00:14:25,123 --> 00:14:28,478
No, but yeah.
But no, he just told me it was heroin.

254
00:14:30,882 --> 00:14:33,190
Well, it's not going to be easy,

255
00:14:33,281 --> 00:14:34,918
but I'm going to do my best
to get you out of here.

256
00:14:35,001 --> 00:14:36,069
Yeah, well, you better.

257
00:14:36,161 --> 00:14:38,355
'Cause if you don't, my posse
are well gonna give you beatings

258
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,237
'cause I, like, totally hate this place.
'Cause it's full of perverts.

259
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,196
Like, see that one over there
with the gammy eye?.

260
00:14:43,279 --> 00:14:45,269
Last night I was in the showers
and she spent the whole time

261
00:14:45,359 --> 00:14:47,826
totally staring at my chicken satay.

262
00:14:49,798 --> 00:14:54,950
Well, Vicky, the trial is scheduled
to start on Thursday.

263
00:14:55,036 --> 00:14:57,674
Have you thought yet about
how you're going to plead?.

264
00:14:57,756 --> 00:14:59,746
What's the one you say when you done it?.

265
00:14:59,835 --> 00:15:00,949
Guilty.

266
00:15:01,035 --> 00:15:02,672
And what's the one you say
when you done it,

267
00:15:02,755 --> 00:15:04,665
but you don't want anyone
to know you done it?.

268
00:15:04,754 --> 00:15:07,142
-Not guilty.
-Not guilty.

269
00:15:15,072 --> 00:15:19,666
NARRATOR: In Mykonos, bald back-botherer
Dafydd is handing out leaflets.

270
00:15:21,390 --> 00:15:23,186
In your dreams.

271
00:15:25,030 --> 00:15:26,826
Not gay.

272
00:15:27,989 --> 00:15:29,785
No.

273
00:15:31,148 --> 00:15:33,456
Straight as a die.

274
00:15:33,628 --> 00:15:36,425
Oh, am I to be the only gay
on this island?.

275
00:15:37,747 --> 00:15:39,543
What have you got there, dear?.

276
00:15:39,626 --> 00:15:41,775
It's just a flier for a new bar
that's opening.

277
00:15:41,866 --> 00:15:43,059
It wouldn't interest you.

278
00:15:43,145 --> 00:15:45,294
Let's have a varda.

279
00:15:45,385 --> 00:15:46,612
(EXCLAIMS)

280
00:15:46,705 --> 00:15:49,264
Myfanwy's Place. Looks fab.

281
00:15:49,344 --> 00:15:51,379
I'm seeing the boys later.
We'll pop down.

282
00:15:51,464 --> 00:15:54,136
I should warn you
this is a gay bar for gays.

283
00:15:54,223 --> 00:15:55,496
I had gathered, dear.

284
00:15:55,583 --> 00:15:57,857
You would need to be a gay to get in.

285
00:15:57,942 --> 00:16:01,138
I am a gay.
I'm as gay as a gay can be gay.

286
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:04,690
-I'm a gay. A gay gay.
-Really?.

287
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:07,498
-Have you ever seen a man naked?.
-Yes.

288
00:16:07,580 --> 00:16:09,456
Totally naked?. In the nude?.

289
00:16:09,539 --> 00:16:11,256
-No clothes on?.
-Yes.

290
00:16:11,379 --> 00:16:13,687
-Not even socks?.
-Yes.

291
00:16:14,578 --> 00:16:18,729
-Really?. What was it like?.
-Good.

292
00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:22,651
Yes, well, I don't...
Have you ever touched a man's winkle?.

293
00:16:23,176 --> 00:16:25,052
Yes, of course I have.

294
00:16:25,136 --> 00:16:28,252
-What was that like?.
-Nice.

295
00:16:28,575 --> 00:16:30,565
Yes, well, I still don't...
What about a man's bottom?.

296
00:16:30,655 --> 00:16:33,248
-Have you stroked one of those?.
-Yes.

297
00:16:33,334 --> 00:16:36,962
-What was that like?.
-Very nice, too.

298
00:16:38,053 --> 00:16:41,169
Also nice. What about...

299
00:16:41,452 --> 00:16:43,362
Actually, I don't think
there is anything else, is there?.

300
00:16:43,452 --> 00:16:44,486
That would be about it, wouldn't it?.

301
00:16:44,571 --> 00:16:47,403
Oh, you poor thing.
Well, I'll see you later, pet.

302
00:16:47,491 --> 00:16:48,889
I don't think so.

303
00:16:48,970 --> 00:16:51,278
-What is your problem?.
-What do you mean?.

304
00:16:51,370 --> 00:16:54,725
I've watched you trolling up and down
this beach for the past half hour now.

305
00:16:54,809 --> 00:16:56,719
You haven't given a flier out
to anybody.

306
00:16:56,809 --> 00:16:59,276
I haven't seen anybody
I can be sure is gay yet.

307
00:16:59,368 --> 00:17:02,837
When I do, they will receive a leaflet.
Good day.

308
00:17:12,845 --> 00:17:15,199
And this here, that's our ground speed.

309
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:18,355
-That's the ground speed, is it?.
-That's the ground speed.

310
00:17:18,444 --> 00:17:21,116
The ground speed. The old ground speed.

311
00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:26,475
So, Andy, your friend Lou tells me
you've always wanted to be a pilot.

312
00:17:26,562 --> 00:17:27,596
Yeah.

313
00:17:27,681 --> 00:17:31,753
Well, you need to work very hard.
In fact, you need a science degree.

314
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,830
Do you have a science degree?.

315
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:37,309
-Have I got a science degree?.
-No.

316
00:17:38,159 --> 00:17:40,035
-No.
-No.

317
00:17:40,838 --> 00:17:45,149
Well, one thing a pilot has to do
is make announcements to the cabin.

318
00:17:45,237 --> 00:17:49,070
-Would you like to do that, Andy?.
-Oh, he'd love to, Captain.

319
00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:51,830
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is your captain speaking.

320
00:17:51,916 --> 00:17:54,270
I'd like to hand you over
to our new co-pilot,

321
00:17:54,355 --> 00:17:56,424
who has a message for you.

322
00:17:57,075 --> 00:18:00,510
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

323
00:18:12,271 --> 00:18:16,149
-Well, thank you so much, Captain.
-You're welcome.

324
00:18:16,230 --> 00:18:17,423
Wanna press a button.

325
00:18:17,510 --> 00:18:19,704
No. Let's leave the nice captain to it.

326
00:18:19,789 --> 00:18:23,144
-Wanna press that red one.
-No. That switches the engines off.

327
00:18:23,229 --> 00:18:25,696
We only press that
when the aircraft has landed.

328
00:18:25,788 --> 00:18:29,063
-Yeah, I know. Wanna press it.
-It's been very nice meeting you.

329
00:18:29,147 --> 00:18:31,819
Thanks again, Captain. Come along now.

330
00:18:39,265 --> 00:18:42,859
-Oh, my God!
-Sorry.

331
00:18:42,944 --> 00:18:45,013
(ALARM BLARING)

332
00:18:46,383 --> 00:18:49,260
NARRATOR: As part of
a new Fat Fighters' initiative,

333
00:18:49,343 --> 00:18:52,971
Marjorie Dawes has been sent
to take a class here in America,

334
00:18:53,062 --> 00:18:57,770
which is a small, shy, retiring country.
You don 't hear very much about it.

335
00:18:57,861 --> 00:19:01,853
They like to keep themselves
to themselves and not get involved.

336
00:19:02,180 --> 00:19:04,739
(IN AMERICAN ACCENT)
Hello, fat fighters.

337
00:19:06,499 --> 00:19:10,093
Blimey, they told me
America was full of fat people.

338
00:19:10,178 --> 00:19:12,407
They were not wrong, were they?.

339
00:19:12,497 --> 00:19:16,375
My fatties may be big,
but you are something else.

340
00:19:16,736 --> 00:19:20,091
Look at you. I'll see what I can do.

341
00:19:20,176 --> 00:19:23,451
Okay, so, my name is Marjorie.

342
00:19:23,535 --> 00:19:25,684
-ALL: Hello, Marjorie.
-Oh, we're lively.

343
00:19:25,774 --> 00:19:28,970
And I work at Fat Fighters in Britain.

344
00:19:29,054 --> 00:19:34,968
Now, the first thing I always do is
find out if we've got any new members.

345
00:19:35,052 --> 00:19:38,248
-Have we got any new members?.
-Hey, I'm new.

346
00:19:38,571 --> 00:19:40,367
Blimey, you are big.

347
00:19:40,531 --> 00:19:43,488
And you're the sheriff of this town,
are you?.

348
00:19:43,570 --> 00:19:47,357
-That's correct, ma'am.
-Oh, better watch what I say.

349
00:19:47,449 --> 00:19:50,804
Okay, do you want to join me
at the front, my sweetness?.

350
00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:55,756
Yes?. And we can try and find out
just why you are the size of a house.

351
00:19:57,487 --> 00:20:00,603
-Okay, so what's your name, my love?.
-Judy, ma'am.

352
00:20:00,686 --> 00:20:04,644
And, Judy ma'am, why do you think
you are so fat?.

353
00:20:04,885 --> 00:20:08,718
It's comfort eating. I've been through
a very difficult time of...

354
00:20:08,805 --> 00:20:11,602
Just got divorced and I'm on my own now.

355
00:20:12,364 --> 00:20:15,355
-Have you thought about lesbianism?.
-What?.

356
00:20:15,563 --> 00:20:17,154
There's a lot of fat lezzers.

357
00:20:17,243 --> 00:20:18,561
-No.
-No.

358
00:20:18,642 --> 00:20:22,111
And tell me, my sweetness,
how old are you?.

359
00:20:22,201 --> 00:20:24,270
-Forty-seven.
-You look older, okay?.

360
00:20:24,361 --> 00:20:26,237
I do mean that kindly.

361
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:30,711
So what advice have we got
for a woman who is 47,

362
00:20:30,799 --> 00:20:32,470
her husband's left her,

363
00:20:32,559 --> 00:20:35,231
and she's so big
she can't wipe her own arse?.

364
00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:37,148
-Excuse me.
-Yes.

365
00:20:37,238 --> 00:20:40,832
When I was little,
nobody told me I was beautiful.

366
00:20:40,917 --> 00:20:42,269
Obviously.

367
00:20:42,997 --> 00:20:47,671
Judy, I'm gonna tell you something,
and I want you to keep it in your heart.

368
00:20:47,756 --> 00:20:50,827
Oh, get to the point, dear.
It's not Falcon Crest.

369
00:20:50,915 --> 00:20:55,543
No matter what people say,
you are beautiful.

370
00:20:55,674 --> 00:20:58,028
You're not, but...

371
00:20:58,113 --> 00:21:01,024
So, anyone else got any advice for Judy?.

372
00:21:01,113 --> 00:21:03,307
To stop her becoming
one of these super-fatties.

373
00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:06,303
You know, the ones you see on the telly,
lying naked in a room

374
00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:07,948
as a team of people wash and feed them.

375
00:21:08,031 --> 00:21:10,544
-This is too much.
-It's for your own good.

376
00:21:10,630 --> 00:21:12,699
Yes, my Latino friend.

377
00:21:12,790 --> 00:21:14,268
Quit snacking.

378
00:21:14,349 --> 00:21:17,181
-Sorry?.
-Quit snacking.

379
00:21:17,269 --> 00:21:19,828
-Do it again.
-Quit snacking.

380
00:21:20,148 --> 00:21:22,377
-Do it again.
-Quit snacking.

381
00:21:22,468 --> 00:21:23,695
-Do it again.
-Quit snacking.

382
00:21:23,787 --> 00:21:27,938
-Oh, quit... No, say it again.
-She said, "Quit snacking."

383
00:21:28,666 --> 00:21:30,417
Oh, that's a good one.

384
00:21:30,506 --> 00:21:33,099
Yes, tell her thank you.

385
00:21:33,585 --> 00:21:35,859
-Yes, what's your name?.
-Phil.

386
00:21:35,945 --> 00:21:38,504
You took that literally, didn't you?.

387
00:21:38,944 --> 00:21:42,299
Yes. So, Phil, what would you like
to say to Judy?.

388
00:21:42,383 --> 00:21:44,498
There's a lot of
great diet books out there.

389
00:21:44,583 --> 00:21:46,857
I think the best one I've read
is Oprah's book.

390
00:21:46,942 --> 00:21:50,092
It really helped me.
I can lend you a copy if you like.

391
00:21:50,181 --> 00:21:53,809
-No, don't. She'll only eat it.
-That's enough.

392
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:56,413
-You're a very rude woman.
-What are you gonna do, arrest me?.

393
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:57,898
I've got grounds t ...展开 0回应

Miami 302天前

这个哪里有看？一共几集啊？ 如题。。。。 2回应

加菲猫 495天前

这就是那个圣诞特辑吧 哪年的来着？ 3回应

pray 582天前

泰国监狱那段 是模仿《BJ单身日记》里的那段吧，哈哈 0回应

天天妹妹叫地地 594天前

哪里可以下到啊

搜了很多地方都下不下- -
麻烦有资源的童鞋共享一下
谢谢谢谢谢谢+，=
2回应